Its Official

[LUFPAN]

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - It's a "factual reality" that beans make you break wind, says South Africa's advertising watchdog.

A TV advert for sweet onions showed a rugby player eating beans that made him smell "stinky". The advert claims that "with sweet onions there are no tears, no burn and definitely no stink".

The country's Dry Bean Producers Organisation complained about the advert on the basis that the "stinky" charge was untrue but the Advertising Standards Authority threw out the charge and said it was widely known that beans produce gas.

"It plays on an objectively determinable factual reality which cannot be denied..." the ASA said on its Web site.

[yankee]

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - It's a "factual reality" that beans make you break wind, says South Africa's advertising watchdog.

A TV advert for sweet onions showed a rugby player eating beans that made him smell "stinky". The advert claims that "with sweet onions there are no tears, no burn and definitely no stink".

The country's Dry Bean Producers Organisation complained about the advert on the basis that the "stinky" charge was untrue but the Advertising Standards Authority threw out the charge and said it was widely known that beans produce gas.

"It plays on an objectively determinable factual reality which cannot be denied..." the ASA said on its Web site.
i will sleep much better tonight knowing this...

[TexasRed6x]

JOHANNESBURG (Reuters) - It's a "factual reality" that beans make you break wind, says South Africa's advertising watchdog.

A TV advert for sweet onions showed a rugby player eating beans that made him smell "stinky". The advert claims that "with sweet onions there are no tears, no burn and definitely no stink".

The country's Dry Bean Producers Organisation complained about the advert on the basis that the "stinky" charge was untrue but the Advertising Standards Authority threw out the charge and said it was widely known that beans produce gas.

"It plays on an objectively determinable factual reality which cannot be denied..." the ASA said on its Web site.
I feel much better now that I know this.:D

[slorch]

I could have saved them alot of time and told them upfront about beans and broccoli.
I've been running experiments on flatulance for years...

[ktCarl]

They are the magical fruit.

[TexasRed6x]

They are the magical fruit.
Yes they sure are.:D

[dragons08]

They are the magical fruit.
reminds me of the song

'beans beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you *fart* the more you.."

[TexasRed6x]

reminds me of the song

'beans beans, the magical fruit, the more you eat the more you *fart* the more you.."
Yeah I used to hear that song alot.

[stevefoxsc]

i wounder if they know the women produce the worse smelling ones.

[TexasRed6x]

i wounder if they know the women produce the worse smelling ones.
I didn't know that.:D

[bubbacoach]

What about hard boiled egg gas. I can clear a room after some hard boiled eggs. Bu then again everything gives me gas.

[LUFPAN]

What about hard boiled egg gas. I can clear a room after some hard boiled eggs. Bu then again everything gives me gas.

Easter must be tough around your house.

[TexasRed6x]

Eating spicy food can really mess up your stomach.

[Sacred Ground]

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish apartment building
to go visit a friend. The elevator stops and a young and beautiful woman
gets into the elevator smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old
woman and says arrogantly, "Romance by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"

The elevator stops at the next floor, when another young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator smelling of expensive perfume. She also turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Chanel No.5, $200 an ounce!"

The elevator stops at the next floor where the old woman has finally reached her destination. As the old woman exits the elevator she stops, bends over and farts, then turns to the two young women and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"

[TexasRed6x]

An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish apartment building
to go visit a friend. The elevator stops and a young and beautiful woman
gets into the elevator smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old
woman and says arrogantly, "Romance by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"

The elevator stops at the next floor, when another young and beautiful woman gets into the elevator smelling of expensive perfume. She also turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Chanel No.5, $200 an ounce!"

The elevator stops at the next floor where the old woman has finally reached her destination. As the old woman exits the elevator she stops, bends over and farts, then turns to the two young women and says, "Broccoli, 49 cents a pound!"
That's funny. :D

[TexasRed6x]

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "Thats a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line... It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "Thats amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."

[yankee]

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "Thats a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line... It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "Thats amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."
haha. funny story.

[Sacred Ground]

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark shades on. She says, "Excuse me sir...can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am I'm blind but if you will drop it on the counter I can tell you everything you need to know about it from the sound that it makes." She didn't believe him, but dropped it on the counter anyway. He said, "Thats a 6' graphite rod with a Zebco 202 reel and 10 lb. test line... It's a good all around rod and reel and it's $20.00". She says, "Thats amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I think it's what I'm looking for so I'll take it." He walks behind the counter to the register, and in the meantime the woman farts. At first she is embarrassed but then realizes that there is no way he could tell it was her...being blind he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. He rings up the sale and says, "That will be $25.50." She says, "But didn't you say it was $20.00?" He says, "Yes ma'am, the rod and reel is $20.00, the duck call is $3.00, and the catfish stink bait is $2.50."
Right back at ya TexasRed; Thats a funny one!

[TexasRed6x]

A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man cuts a fart. His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?" The man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead, 7 nothing." A few minutes later the wife lets one loose. The man says to her, "What was that?" She replies "Touchdown, tie score." The man lays there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he craps in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides.

[Sacred Ground]

Science question; What sense is most associated with memory?

Answer; Smell

[Sacred Ground]

A man and his wife have gone to bed. After laying in bed for a few minutes the man cuts a fart. His wife rolls over and asks, "What in the world was that?" The man says, "Touchdown, I'm ahead, 7 nothing." A few minutes later the wife lets one loose. The man says to her, "What was that?" She replies "Touchdown, tie score." The man lays there for about 10 minutes trying to work one up. He tries so hard he craps in bed. The wife asks, "Now what in the world was that?" He replies, "Halftime, switch sides.
Hahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!

[TexasRed6x]

See I knew that would be funny. :D

[TexasRed6x]

There was a girl who lusted after a man. She wanted him. He asked her out for a date. He was to come to pick her up at 7pm on Saturday. At 6 55pm she felt that she had to fart. She did not want to fart in the house because she knew that it would smell and she did not want to have the man think that she had a stinky house. The fart was balled up in her intestines. It hurt. She had to fart. She developed a quick plan. When he walked her to the car he would open her door. She would fart while he walked aroud the car to his door. She would open the car window and fan all of the 'offensive' gas out of the car before he got in. The man arrived at 7pm, walked her to the car and opened the door as planned. When she got in she farted, a very loud BRAAAAAAT. She opened the window and waved her hands to fan the smell out. She was comfortable. The man got in, indicated to the back seat and said, 'Oh, by the way, I want to introduce you to my parents. They are going to eat with us'.

[TexasRed6x]

One evening, a very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant patiently awaiting her date. While waiting, she decided to make sure that she looked perfect for him. So the young lady bends down in her chair in order to get a mirror from her purse. Then just as the waiter walks up, she accidentally farts quite loudly. The lady immediately sat up straight, embarrassed and red faced, sure that everyone in the place had heard her. Quickly she turns to the waiter and demands, "Stop That!" The waiter looks at her dryly and says, "Sure lady. Which way was it headed?"

[Sacred Ground]

Haaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You got me rollin' TexasRed.

[TexasRed6x]

This bloke went out one night to a night club. He met a beautiful woman there. So he starts chatting to her. After an hour of conversation, she askes him to go back to her place. They get there and he tells her that he's a virgin. She say's 'no problem, I'll show you'. The first thing she does is a 69er and she tells him what it's called. A few seconds into it she lets the biggest fart let rip. The bloke says '**** this I'm not sticking around for another 68 of those'.

[TexasRed6x]

Pick the day you were born on to see what kind of fart you are. 1-AMBITIOUS Always ready for a fart. 2-LAZY Just fizzles 3-AMIABLE Likes to smell others farts. 4-SELFISH Only enjoys smelling his own farts. 5-CARELESS Farts in church. 6-SMART ALEC Farts when ladies are present. 7-CLEVER Farts and coughs at same time. 8-SCIENTIFIC Bottles his farts. 9-STINGY Belches instead of farting to save his *******. 10-FOOLISH Farts and laughs. 11-SHY Blushes even when he farts silently. 12-CONCIETED Thinks he can fart loudest. 13-UNLUCKY Tries to fart and ***** pants. 14- TIMID Jumps when he farts. 15-BEWILDERED can't tell his own farts from others. 16-SLOVENLY Farts and fizzles, rots his pants. 17-NERVOUS Stops in middle of fart. 18-MISERABLE Can't fart 19-CONFUSED Face looks so much like ***, Farts don't know where to go. 20-GROUCH Grumbles when ladies fart. 21-SNEAKY Farts and blames it on the dog. 22-DISAPPOINTED Their farts dont stink. 23-FRESH GUY Jumps in front of you and farts. 24-BIG BULLY Farts louder than everyone else. 25-DELUDED Enjoys all farts thinking they are his. 26-CUTE Discovers from farts what others have eaten. 27-WISE Farts and say's "Who in hell **** ??" 28-DAMNED MEAN Farts in bed and pulls covers over wife's head. 29-MUSICAL Tenor or bass Clear as a bell Smells like **** Sounds like hell 30-HONEST Farts and blames in on the hostess. 31-LIVELY GUY Jumps in air, farts three times, kicks like hell simultaneously.

[TexasRed6x]

Two guys are playing golf -- a Japanese and American. The Japanese man, getting ready to tee off, begins talking into his thumb. The American says, 'What are you doing?' The Japanese man says: 'Oh, don't worry. With microtechnology, I have a microphone inserted in my thumb. I was just recording a message.' The two men go on playing golf. All of a sudden, the American man makes a funny sound that sounds amazingly like a fart. The Japanese man looks over at him. 'Oh,' says the American. 'Don't worry, I'm just receiving a fax.

[TexasRed6x]

Haaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You got me rollin' TexasRed.
See I knew I would get you laughing.

[Sacred Ground]

Where do you get all of these fart jokes. It is funny how a normal body function can be so hilarious. I have some real classic jokes, but they don't have anything to do with farting. I'll have to pm them to you TexasRed. I would post them, but I wouldn't want to risk being banned.

[TexasRed6x]

Where do you get all of these fart jokes. It is funny how a normal body function can be so hilarious. I have some real classic jokes, but they don't have anything to do with farting. I'll have to pm them to you TexasRed. I would post them, but I wouldn't want to risk being banned.
I will PM you where I got them.

[TexasRed6x]

Where do you get all of these fart jokes. It is funny how a normal body function can be so hilarious. I have some real classic jokes, but they don't have anything to do with farting. I'll have to pm them to you TexasRed. I would post them, but I wouldn't want to risk being banned.
Yeah when I first saw those jokes I found it really hilarious.