Crossing the line w/girl friends

[mtbray]

I feel like a loser for puttin this all on a message board, but I'm a little drunk so here goes:

I've known this girl for 8 years now, and she's been my best girl friend for most of high school and these first 2 years of college. There's always sort of been something between us and it has sparked up a couple of times over the years, but hasn't gone full blown until last night. Needless to say we were drinking....she said she was gonna pass out in my bed, of course I joined her and ya...it happened. Now I'm afraid she's feeling akward towards me, and I'm feeling fine about all of it and could continue the friendship as it has always been. I've called her once since she left last night and haven't heard back from her yet....and am almost kind of regretting it at this point. I'd pick the friendship any day over a few nights here and there with her. I don't know what advice I'm seeking exactly, but have any of you been in this situation before?

[jtk1519]

Been there, done that. We didn't take things as far as it sounds like you may have last night, but we took them far enough to completely change the relationship. Intimacy changes everything and in my experience, that's not really a good thing. In fact, my female friend and I haven't been the same since. We were about as close as two people could be without being romantic. Then, one night as in your case, alcohol lubricated a few gears in our relationship that have never moved before.

The sad thing is that since that night, we haven't had one nice thing to say to each other and strangely, it has nothing to do with that night. I haven't spoken to her in over two years because we spent about a year doing nothing but shooting venom at each other. All that is left between us now is a lot of bitterness and maybe even some hate. I saw her at a friends wedding last year and we made a point to stay away from each other. To be honest, it's very sad to think about now. I would do anything to have that friendship back.

I hope you have better luck than I.

[GoOwls]

The funny thing about that situation is that after a marriage or two to the wrong person, you will usually find that a relationship with someone you know well is what makes you happy.

The physical loses it's appeal over time and you begin to want a relatioship with someone you can talk to and laugh with. An old friend ends up being that person many times, because you like each other and truly enjoy each others presence, something important to a long and lasting relationship.

I know that in my situation, I married wife #1 to get out of the house and she was kind of hot. I was miserable as she was an intollerable person. Many years later, I re-met a woman who I worked with 11 years before for almost 5 years. We were good buddies and liked each others friendship, but we were both married, so we never took it to another level, we were just good friends. Well, as it turned out, the old friendship re-kindled like we hadn't had those 11 years apart at all. We began talking and seeing each other, then the romantic part just happened on it's own. We've been married over 10 years now and we are the best buds you ever saw plus the romantic part. Inseperable.

Being romantic with a friend is the best choice, but you have to be at the right time in your life to accept the fact. The younger you are, the less that you will be able to accept that someone like a friend is the best choice. The hormonal drive to be with someone you find sexually attractive is still too strong. Only maturity and time can cure that.

[Miss Kitty]

The funny thing about that situation is that after a marriage or two to the wrong person, you will usually find that a relationship with someone you know well is what makes you happy.

The physical loses it's appeal over time and you begin to want a relatioship with someone you can talk to and laugh with. An old friend ends up being that person many times, because you like each other and truly enjoy each others presence, something important to a long and lasting relationship.

I know that in my situation, I married wife #1 to get out of the house and she was kind of hot. I was miserable as she was an intollerable person. Many years later, I re-met a woman who I worked with 11 years before for almost 5 years. We were good buddies and liked each others friendship, but we were both married, so we never took it to another level, we were just good friends. Well, as it turned out, the old friendship re-kindled like we hadn't had those 11 years apart at all. We began talking and seeing each other, then the romantic part just happened on it's own. We've been married over 10 years now and we are the best buds you ever saw plus the romantic part. Inseperable.

Being romantic with a friend is the best choice, but you have to be at the right time in your life to accept the fact. The younger you are, the less that you will be able to accept that someone like a friend is the best choice. The hormonal drive to be with someone you find sexually attractive is still too strong. Only maturity and time can cure that.

Well said. Great post! :)

[MaverickDefense]

Didn't Read, LOL

[cougardude]

I feel like a loser for puttin this all on a message board, but I'm a little drunk so here goes:

I've known this girl for 8 years now, and she's been my best girl friend for most of high school and these first 2 years of college. There's always sort of been something between us and it has sparked up a couple of times over the years, but hasn't gone full blown until last night. Needless to say we were drinking....she said she was gonna pass out in my bed, of course I joined her and ya...it happened. Now I'm afraid she's feeling akward towards me, and I'm feeling fine about all of it and could continue the friendship as it has always been. I've called her once since she left last night and haven't heard back from her yet....and am almost kind of regretting it at this point. I'd pick the friendship any day over a few nights here and there with her. I don't know what advice I'm seeking exactly, but have any of you been in this situation before?

Sounds to me like your first mistake was the fact that you were drunk and unless I'm not figuring right you're underage! Granted, I don't mind people drinking, but why is it so many young people feel like they need to start doing it at such an early age? I am 43 years old and have never even had the desire to consume any type of alcohol. I guess growing up I have seen enough people make complete idiots of themselves after getting drunk and then wondering why they feel like crap. Duh!

Let's just hope your drunken slip up doesn't lead to an even bigger problem. Hope you used protection.

[Slim-Rob]

Didn't Read, LOL

Then DON'T POST

[GoOwls]

Didn't Read, LOL

Not surprised. You don't strike me as the type of person who intakes and inputs information that would better themselves and help to make them a credit to society. Just kidding.:rolleyes: NOT!!:D

[mtbray]

Thanks for the replies and to Miss Kitty especially.


and to the one concerned with my underage drinking...I'll be underage for another 7 months so I'm not as far away as one may think. It's condoned by my family and was done inside my home, so I don't feel it was a problem.

[Miss Kitty]

Thanks for the replies and to Miss Kitty especially.


and to the one concerned with my underage drinking...I'll be underage for another 7 months so I'm not as far away as one may think. It's condoned by my family and was done inside my home, so I don't feel it was a problem.
You're welcome!:)

[mtbray]

I sent ya a pm miss kitty.

[GoOwls]

Thanks for the replies and to Miss Kitty especially.


and to the one concerned with my underage drinking...I'll be underage for another 7 months so I'm not as far away as one may think. It's condoned by my family and was done inside my home, so I don't feel it was a problem.

Hey..........she just agreed with my post.......where's the love for me?????:D

[Firebird]

Dang, MvsDefense didn't last too long around here.

To Mtbray: That's a tough situation. My advice to you is this. Take a step back and consider the options. Give her a week or two to figure things out in her own head, then give her a call. Suggest meeting in a sort of non-threatning atmosphere, a casual lunch is always good.

Then tell her what you are thinking about the matter, and let her tell you. Who knows- you may have found the love of your life in an unexpected place. Or you might not have. The important thing is to stay cool, stay calm.

I agree with Goowls. My finance is not only incredibly attractive, but she is my very best friend and confidant in the world. I didn't think I would end up loving a girl like her, but I am glad I did. Any physical attraction will at least cool a bit, and at the end of the day, you will want to go home to your best friend.

I would also suggest no alcohol around her for a while, regardless the decisions ya'll work out.

[Reaganrattler07]

Well, we all knew it was MavsDend who was banned like 4 times during football season.....and then I guess tried to come back recently....

[Slim-Rob]

Well, we all knew it was MavsDend who was banned like 4 times during football season.....and then I guess tried to come back recently....

ROFL. I thought he would last another week....

[Reaganrattler07]

ROFL. I thought he would last another week....

I was surprised he lasted this long to tell you the truth....

[lonny23]

Well, we all knew it was MavsDend who was banned like 4 times during football season.....and then I guess tried to come back recently....
He also got banned as Mavs Dee without any posts yesterday.

[drgnbkr]

He also got banned as Mavs Dee without any posts yesterday.

He seemed to want to get into it with anyone on any thread...an equal opportunity smacker...:D

[bubbacoach]

I tried to get him to come at me, but he never would.

[SeguinMatadors]

He also got banned as Mavs Dee without any posts yesterday.

He made a thread... it just quickly got deleted and he got banned.

[TexasRed6x]

He made a thread... it just quickly got deleted and he got banned.
Yeah I saw that. I remember Seguin trying to post on his thread and it quickly got deleted and the guy got banned.