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LUFPAN
02-15-2006, 10:48 AM
BATTLE CREEK, Mich. - A man who pleaded no contest to a sodomy charge involving a sheep says he should not have to register as a sex offender.

Jeffrey S. Haynes said the state registry is intended to keep track of people who have committed crimes against humans.

But Calhoun County Circuit Court Judge Conrad Sindt told Haynes at his sentencing hearing that once he is released from prison, he must register with the Michigan State Police Public Sex Offender Registry.

Haynes, 42, of Battle Creek, was sentenced Monday to 2 1/2 years to 20 years in prison. He entered the plea in January. A no contest plea is not an admission of guilt but is treated as such for sentencing purposes.

Tamara Towns, an assistant prosecutor for the county, argued that Haynes should be ordered to register as a sex offender because once out of prison, he could prey on children or vulnerable adults.

Haynes said he is not a violent person and would not assault children.

"The prosecutor is being real hard on me for what I did," he said. "But I should not be treated as a child molester."

A telephone call seeking comment was left Tuesday at the Marshall office of defense attorney John B. Sullivan.

Police said Haynes had sex with a sheep at a Bedford Township farm on Jan. 26, 2005. The animal's owner caught him on the property and the sheep was found injured.

Haynes was arrested in June after a DNA sample taken from the animal matched Haynes' genetic material.

Haynes has prior convictions for burglary, home invasion and uttering and publishing, and was on parole for burglary at the time of the sex crime.
dada
02-15-2006, 10:53 AM
I want to say something....but due to recent developments concerning banning....I have sit here and bite my tounge:D
Miss Kitty
02-15-2006, 11:01 AM
The poor sheep will probably need therapy now. Or was the owner just jealous. Hmmmmmmm

Actually reading this made me think of a Woody Allen movie, in which he falls in love with a sheep. It was pretty sick but funny.
LoneRocket
02-15-2006, 11:11 AM
Here is a far reaching one if you are caught urinating behind a building/barn probably can be considered a sex crime. An overzealous DA might want you to register as an offender because you could not make it to the restroom. Now you are a danger to children.
drgnbkr
02-15-2006, 01:33 PM
The poor sheep will probably need therapy now. Or was the owner just jealous. Hmmmmmmm

Actually reading this made me think of a Woody Allen movie, in which he falls in love with a sheep. It was pretty sick but funny.

I think the sheep was just trying to make her ram jealous.....
ktCarl
02-15-2006, 07:36 PM
BATTLE CREEK, Mich. - A man who pleaded no contest to a sodomy charge involving a sheep says he should not have to register as a sex offender.


And what does the SHEEP have to say on her own behaaaaaalf?

To bleat or not to bleat.
dragons08
02-15-2006, 07:36 PM
And what does the SHEEP have to say on her own behaaaaaalf?

To bleat or not to bleat.
oh thats a knee-slapper right there folks
garlandowl08
02-15-2006, 07:53 PM
Oh lord, thank you admins for starting a no blatant/inapropriate college bashing policy...the Aggies would never hear the end of it.
dragons08
02-15-2006, 07:53 PM
Oh lord, thank you admins for starting a no blatant/inapropriate college bashing policy...the Aggies would never hear the end of it.
notice jtk hasnt made it over here yet :p
pack0808
02-16-2006, 10:39 AM
Baaaaaaaaaack dat furry *** up.
Miss Kitty
02-16-2006, 10:40 AM
Roflmao!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
ktCarl
02-16-2006, 10:59 AM
The guy was just having SHEAR fun.
That's gonna be embarrassing in court when his wife points to the one he was having an affair with. Will the ewe be wearing lipstick? Think Hollywood will pick up on this story? We need to get the sheep on this forum and tell her side of the story. We can get sheepie to comment on her favorite tunes in the other thread......'Ewe Fleece In The Sky With Diamonds'. The Bleaters
There is sooooo much material here, folks. :D
Miss Kitty
02-16-2006, 11:03 AM
Maybe Brokeback Mountain enspired this guy. :D
LUFPAN
02-16-2006, 11:11 AM
Baaaaaaaaaack dat furry *** up.

Quotes like that is why your a Hall of Famer.
LUFPAN
02-16-2006, 11:13 AM
Since safe-sex is always important I hope he was wearing his sheep skin..
lonny23
02-16-2006, 11:14 AM
I would like to join the party, but I need to work a little and I'll see if I can make some comments later. Keep the good work up.
LoneRocket
02-16-2006, 12:46 PM
Baaaaaaaaaack dat furry *** up.
That is too funny.
lonny23
02-16-2006, 04:20 PM
Here is a far reaching one if you are caught urinating behind a building/barn probably can be considered a sex crime. An overzealous DA might want you to register as an offender because you could not make it to the restroom. Now you are a danger to children.
I'm dangerous to lots of things and items when it comes to urinating!:D
LUFPAN
02-16-2006, 04:26 PM
This might be as far "Off-Topic" as any thread I've seen in here.:eek:
cove_2001
02-16-2006, 04:51 PM
Wide would have had a field day on this one.

garland was right about the aggy thing. They would never hear the end of it.
We have to wait and see what jtk says lol

cove_2001
Packattack94
02-16-2006, 08:23 PM
Battle Creek should change their town motto to "Battle Creek, where the men are men and the sheep are nervous!"
ktCarl
02-17-2006, 06:55 AM
Baaaaaaaaaack dat furry *** up.


How do you know it wasn't a shaved sheep? :rolleyes:
Miss Kitty
02-17-2006, 07:08 AM
How do you know it wasn't a shaved sheep? :rolleyes:


LOL!!!!!!!

Perhaps she had a Brazillian hot wax. :D
lonny23
02-17-2006, 08:14 AM
How do you know it wasn't a shaved sheep? :rolleyes:
If that's the case, I refer back to the jealous owner comment because he wasn't gettting the special treatment.
KT2000
02-17-2006, 08:40 AM
Man, that's a whole new level of lonely right there.

Somewhere in Hollywood, a script writer is having a field day...

"Battle Creek's Most Wanted"
"Lustin' for Mutton"
"Baaaaaad Boys"
lonny23
02-17-2006, 08:49 AM
Man, that's a whole new level of lonely right there.

Somewhere in Hollywood, a script writer is having a field day...

"Battle Creek's Most Wanted"
"Lustin' for Mutton"
"Baaaaaad Boys"
I heard it was a whole slew of incidents and the victims were so shamed they didn't tell their owner. The forthcoming movie will be called, "The Silence of the Lambs."
bubbacoach
02-17-2006, 10:18 AM
What is wrong with what he did? It reminds me of growing up on the ranch. A few beers and some of those animals get mighty attractive. JK:p
pack0808
02-17-2006, 10:22 AM
What is wrong with what he did? It reminds me of growing up on the ranch. A few beers and some of those animals get mighty attractive. JK:p


I knew there was a reason why they called you bubba! I bet when i said baaaaaaaaaack dat furry *** up, you went straight to the bathroom and relieved yourself from all of the tension.
bubbacoach
02-17-2006, 10:24 AM
A maaaan has to do what a maaaaan has to do.:o
ktCarl
02-17-2006, 02:54 PM
Don't get this thread locked guys. This is too much fun!

O.k everyone...more movie title ideas....

Mutton Jeff

Field of Dreams (sorry Mr. Costner)
KT2000
02-17-2006, 03:03 PM
"How Jeff Got His Groove Back"

"Dude, Where's My Sheep?"

"Battle Creek Nights"