Kids say the Darndest Things....

[dada]

My son asked me why did he have MILK day off.........

LMAO!!!!

[Sacred Ground]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said,
"When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What
if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."

[Sacred Ground]

It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
children's sermon. All the children were invited to come forward. One
little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress.
Is it your Easter Dress?" The little girl replied, directly into the
pastor's clip-on microphone, "Yes and my Mom says it's a b!tch to
iron."

[c-lisle]

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher
said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human
because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was
very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a
whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not
swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said,
"When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah." The teacher asked, "What
if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."


LOL very funny

[wide-e-wide]

My daughter was singing a song with my wife one day...and was singing it out of tune. My wife told her....."Go a little bit lower when you sing it this time"...

So what did my daughter do?.........she squats down and sings the song again...and when we busted out laughing...she looked around and said "What?"

Yes she's a blonde.........

[slorch]

When oldest boy was in kindergarten, he was making a card for Easter to give to my wife and me. It had several questions such as, " what's your favorite animal?", " What do you want to be when you grow up?", ect, ect.
One asked who his hero was, and why.
he proudly answered, "My Daddy, because we sit in the bathtub and drink beer together."

I take showers, and the boys have never had beer- I assure you!

another time our oldest(about 7 at the time) was sick and returned to school after missing a day.
The teacher asked how he was and what he had been sick with.
he replied, "I've been coughing and had a fever. my tummy hurt and I've had Gonnorhea for about 3 days."

Gotta love the innocence!

[LoneStarProud]

I was on some days off from work but needed to go to the office to pick up a check and file a couple of things. I took my 3 1/2 year old daughter with me.
When I walked in my boss and some of my co-workers were in the atrium talking. My boss greeted me then bent down to say hello to my daughter. He was trying to be funny and took her on his knee and said "you be sure and have daddy take you to get some ice cream before you go home". She looked at him for a second and then said..."you have a big booger in your nose".
He still gets called "boog" occasionally.:p

[lonny23]

My son asked me why did he have MILK day off.........

LMAO!!!!
Did you tell him his teachers were Hindu and worship cows?

[lonny23]

I was on some days off from work but needed to go to the office to pick up a check and file a couple of things. I took my 3 1/2 year old daughter with me.
When I walked in my boss and some of my co-workers were in the atrium talking. My boss greeted me then bent down to say hello to my daughter. He was trying to be funny and took her on his knee and said "you be sure and have daddy take you to get some ice cream before you go home". She looked at him for a second and then said..."you have a big booger in your nose".
He still gets called "boog" occasionally.:p
My oldest daughter turned 6 in September and my mom who is 59 asked her if she knew how old she was on her birthday and she said, "70 or 80!"

[LUFPAN]

My wife and I used to teach a Sunday School class for 7-9 year olds. I would always test the kids after the lesson to see who was paying attention and would award a prize to the kid who could answer the questions. One Sunday the lesson was on Moses and the burning bush. Afterward while I was quizzing the kids I asked the questions "Who said I am that I am?" a little boy in the back of the class promptly raised his hand and answered Popey The Sailor. He still won a prize.