Strange Thoughts by Jack Handy!

[Sacred Ground]

Strange Thoughts by Jack Handy 21st Century style. Maybe you have seen some of these. Feel free to add your own.


When cheese get its picture taken, what does it say?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

What do people in China call their good plates?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts" and you
put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language.
Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it
follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted,
cowboy's deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked,
and dry cleaners depressed?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from
Holland called Holes?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

[Packattack94]

Okay this mighy start a fight, but oh well,

The aggies invented the tooth brush because anyone else would have called it a TEETH BRUSH!!!

[wide-e-wide]

Confucious say...foolish man give wife grand piano...wise man give her upright organ...


Thank you..I'm here all week...be sure and tip your waitress.

[Packattack94]

Cunfusious also says,"Man ho stands on commode is high on pot"

[wide-e-wide]

Confucious say...baseball all wrong...man with 4 balls...cannot walk.

[Packattack94]

Confusious say: man with one leg should not enter butt kicking contest.

[Packattack94]

If Wonder Woman's jet is invisible, how the hell does she know where she parked it?

[Sacred Ground]

If the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the "Jags" and the
Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the "Bucs," what does
that make the Tennessee Titans?

[wide-e-wide]

If the Pilgrims had killed a tiger instead of a turkey...what would we have to every Thanksgiving?

hahahaha

Now that's what you call a joke that makes you think...

The real joke is too vulgar for a PG board...but you know what I meant.

[Sacred Ground]

I found out there is a built in sensor on this board for certain words. Just check out the "Best Western Movies" thread.

[lonny23]

I found out there is a built in sensor on this board for certain words. Just check out the "Best Western Movies" thread.
The filter used to be tougher than it is now. I'd like to play along, but I have to go elsewhere. This is my kind of thread.

Here's one.

Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?

[Sacred Ground]

If Wonder Woman's jet is invisible, how the hell does she know where she parked it?
How do you tell when you are out of invisible ink?

[Sacred Ground]

What happen's when you get scared half-to-death twice?

[BAMF cowboy]

does anyone vanish with a trace?

[wide-e-wide]

What do you add to powdered water?

[Sacred Ground]

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

[wide-e-wide]

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

Nice...:D