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Sacred Ground
12-14-2005, 06:20 PM
Check this out. You may have met some of these people.


IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the
telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he
didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Stand and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectectually-challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are
blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's
side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"
To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

NOW, DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER

BAMF cowboy
12-14-2005, 07:34 PM
Check this out. You may have met some of these people.


IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
This week, all our office phones went dead and I had to contact the
telephone repair people. They promised to be out between 8:00 a.m. and 7:00 p.m. When I asked if they could give me a smaller time window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like us to call you before we come?" I replied that I didn't see how he would be able to do that, since our phones weren't working. He also requested that we report future outages by email (Does YOUR email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she could not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he
didn't want them to cross there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Stand and ordered a taco. She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but
they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I
was crossing with an intellectectually-challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are
blind people doing driving?!"

IDIOT SIGHTING #3:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and
for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service
department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's
side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the
door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"
To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

NOW, DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER

haha that gave me a good couple of laughs. are those all personal experiences, or did you just find them online? either way they are humorous.

Sacred Ground
12-14-2005, 07:51 PM
My sister-in-law sent it to me. I think it was compiled from different sources. I can't imagine anyone person could possibly encounter that many idiots in a lifetime.

BAMF cowboy
12-14-2005, 07:56 PM
My sister-in-law sent it to me. I think it was compiled from different sources. I can't imagine anyone person could possibly encounter that many idiots in a lifetime.

that's what i was thinking

dragons08
12-14-2005, 08:24 PM
My sister-in-law sent it to me. I think it was compiled from different sources. I can't imagine anyone person could possibly encounter that many idiots in a lifetime.
you never know these days..idioits walk amongst us!

Packattack94
12-14-2005, 08:27 PM
(whispering) ......I see Dumb people

dragons08
12-14-2005, 09:06 PM
(whispering) ......I see Dumb people
reminds me of a shirt..you know those eye reading chart things..

friend has one that says..

I
See
Dumb
People
Reading
My Shirt

it was funny..

LoneRocket
12-14-2005, 09:10 PM
On the back of your CCard, just sign "see id".

jtk1519
12-14-2005, 10:00 PM
IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local
township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing
sign on our road. The reason: too many deer were being hit by cars and he
didn't want them to cross there anymore.

Did anybody else start laughing and think "aggy" as soon as you read that? :D

bullrock
12-15-2005, 11:18 AM
My daughter graduated from A&M so go light on the aggy. When she was in the 7th grade our neighborhood was growing. New roads were being installed and for asthetics they put brick strips in at certain places and they happened to be about 200 feet on each side of stop signs. While riding one day she asks "dad, why do they put bricks in the road like that?" to which I replied, " those are for disabled drivers". "What kind of disabled drivers" she asked. I said " they're for blind drivers. They let them know they are approaching a stop sign". "Oh, okay" she replied. I knew from that point on where she was going to college.

lonny23
12-15-2005, 11:29 AM
My daughter graduated from A&M so go light on the aggy. When she was in the 7th grade our neighborhood was growing. New roads were being installed and for asthetics they put brick strips in at certain places and they happened to be about 200 feet on each side of stop signs. While riding one day she asks "dad, why do they put bricks in the road like that?" to which I replied, " those are for disabled drivers". "What kind of disabled drivers" she asked. I said " they're for blind drivers. They let them know they are approaching a stop sign". "Oh, okay" she replied. I knew from that point on where she was going to college.
My oldest daughter is 6, but even at 5 she knew not to believe some of my answers to her questions!:D I've told several times that she asks so many questions that I have to have a little fun giving the wrong answer. At least she asks the same question one time!:D