TigerHat
12-10-2005, 10:38 PM
KT Times - Lauren Hill
Recently several computers polls have the Katy Tigers ranked lower in the
state football standings than a number of 4A, 3A, and even some 2A teams.
The KT Times decided to interview one of the computers to find out why.
KTT: Computer!
C: Yeah, whadaya want?
KTT: Can you explain why Katy went down in the rankings after winning its
playoff game against Cy Falls?
C: Yes.
KTT: Well why?
C: Why what?
KTT: Explain why Katy went down in the rankings after winning its
playoff game against Cy Falls?
C: Where did Katy play its first game?
KTT: Reliant stadium.
C: Exactly.
KTT: What does playing their first game in Reliant Stadium have to do with
Katy's ranking?
C: All right I'll spell it out for you. What team normally plays in that
stadium?
KTT: The Houston Texans.
C: BINGO! We have a loser!
KTT: Are you saying that the Texans have an effect on Katy's rating?
C: Of course they do, the Texans are the ratings equivalent of a black hole;
they suck so much that they pull down any team who is even physically close
to them.
KTT: Oh.
C: Yep, Rice Owls played the University of Houston in the Toilet bowl last
week didn't they? There are no Houston high school programs in the top 1000
in the state because of them.
KTT: There aren't 1000 high schools in Texas.
C: What part of 'Black Hole' do you not understand? Get close to the
Texans and your rating goes negative. Notice that the highest ranked teams
in the Houston area are the teams the farthest away from the Texans: Katy,
Brenham, Spring Westfield, The Woodlands, LaMarque.
KTT: Ok, but that still doesn't explain why Katy is currently ranked behind
Austin Westlake's girls Volleyball team in the latest state football
rankings.
C: Its personal.
KTT: What exactly do you mean by that? Out with it.
C: Renee Zellweger.
KTT: What has she got to do with it?
C: She's from Katy isn't she?
KTT: Yes, but she didn't go to Katy High school.
C: Close enough.
KTT: What have you got against Renee Zellweger?
C: Like I said its personal.
KTT: Out with it!
C: Oh - OK, Renee Zellweger said in People magazine and I quote: "I don't
like computers". Yeah Renee, well I don't like Katy, so there.
KTT: And for this Katy's official ranking is, and I quote, "lower than a
snake's belly?"
C: Yeah, and not only is Smithson Valley going up after Katy beat them, but
Katy is now behind the Johnston Jr. High chess club too. So there.
KTT: We're sorry we asked.
Recently several computers polls have the Katy Tigers ranked lower in the
state football standings than a number of 4A, 3A, and even some 2A teams.
The KT Times decided to interview one of the computers to find out why.
KTT: Computer!
C: Yeah, whadaya want?
KTT: Can you explain why Katy went down in the rankings after winning its
playoff game against Cy Falls?
C: Yes.
KTT: Well why?
C: Why what?
KTT: Explain why Katy went down in the rankings after winning its
playoff game against Cy Falls?
C: Where did Katy play its first game?
KTT: Reliant stadium.
C: Exactly.
KTT: What does playing their first game in Reliant Stadium have to do with
Katy's ranking?
C: All right I'll spell it out for you. What team normally plays in that
stadium?
KTT: The Houston Texans.
C: BINGO! We have a loser!
KTT: Are you saying that the Texans have an effect on Katy's rating?
C: Of course they do, the Texans are the ratings equivalent of a black hole;
they suck so much that they pull down any team who is even physically close
to them.
KTT: Oh.
C: Yep, Rice Owls played the University of Houston in the Toilet bowl last
week didn't they? There are no Houston high school programs in the top 1000
in the state because of them.
KTT: There aren't 1000 high schools in Texas.
C: What part of 'Black Hole' do you not understand? Get close to the
Texans and your rating goes negative. Notice that the highest ranked teams
in the Houston area are the teams the farthest away from the Texans: Katy,
Brenham, Spring Westfield, The Woodlands, LaMarque.
KTT: Ok, but that still doesn't explain why Katy is currently ranked behind
Austin Westlake's girls Volleyball team in the latest state football
rankings.
C: Its personal.
KTT: What exactly do you mean by that? Out with it.
C: Renee Zellweger.
KTT: What has she got to do with it?
C: She's from Katy isn't she?
KTT: Yes, but she didn't go to Katy High school.
C: Close enough.
KTT: What have you got against Renee Zellweger?
C: Like I said its personal.
KTT: Out with it!
C: Oh - OK, Renee Zellweger said in People magazine and I quote: "I don't
like computers". Yeah Renee, well I don't like Katy, so there.
KTT: And for this Katy's official ranking is, and I quote, "lower than a
snake's belly?"
C: Yeah, and not only is Smithson Valley going up after Katy beat them, but
Katy is now behind the Johnston Jr. High chess club too. So there.
KTT: We're sorry we asked.