Tebow to Skip Senior Season

[F18mustang]

And ascend directly into heaven...

http://www.sportingpress.com/sporting_press/2009/01/tebow-skips-senior-season-ascends-directly-into-heaven.html

January 09, 2009
Tebow Skips Senior Season, Ascends Directly Into Heaven
MIAMI (SP) -- Shortly after leading the Florida Gators to a national 
championship with a 24-14 win over Oklahoma, junior quarterback Tim 
Tebow announced that he would skip his senior season and ascend 
directly into heaven.


Tebow entered the press room to wild applause. A reporter for a 24-
hour cable sports network burst into tears when the 2007 Heisman 
winner entered the room. Another threw a pair of boxer shorts on the 
podium. Tebow smiled at the gesture and several sports reporters 
fainted.

"Sorry I'm late," Tebow began. "There was a six-year-old boy with 
cancer in row 54 and I had to make my way through the crowd to heal 
him."

"I want to start by saying that playing quarterback for the University of Florida, winning two national championships, has been a great honor. There has been some speculation about my future and I want to clear that up right now," he continued.

"Don't go, Tim!" a reporter shouted from the back of the room.

"After much consideration, I have decided to skip my senior season at the University of Florida and ascend directly into Heaven," Tebow announced. Upon making the announcement, Tebow was bathed in a blinding white light and vanished.

In response to the news, ESPN announced they will have a month-long tribute to Tebow. ESPN2 will now be known as ESPN-TEBOW and will feature Tebow highlights (including home videos of Tebow's childhood), re-airings of past interviews, Tebow-centric analysis by ESPN air personalities, a Tebow quiz show and a reality show to find the "most Tebow-like" person in America.

"He wasn't just the greatest player in college football history," said a college football writer at the press conference, tears streaming down his face. "He might have been the greatest person to ever walk on earth."

As Prophesied, he has fooled the masses. Here, in this exclusive photo, we see the true Tebow, levitating with his eyes glowing with demonic fury.
http://images.yuku.com/image/jpeg/ced360db1a671a779cc2fc4bab2b9fe50038a9df.jpg

[pied]

And ascend directly into heaven...

Really want to see Sanchez/Tebow/Bradford go pro, in reverse order of importance to Texas.

[WestPlano006]

Really want to see Sanchez/Tebow/Bradford go pro, in reverse order of importance to Texas.

Sanchez is the most overrated QB in the whole country right now... the guy had one good Rose Bowl, and has hardly even played a full seasons worth of games.

[Firebird]

I wish that I could spend five minutes with Tim Tebow. I would be a better person. I would bring my wife a single red rose every day. I would call my dad and tell him how much it meant to me that he took me to football games and played catch in the yard. I would tell my mom that I really can taste the secret ingredient-- love-- she puts in her food.

Tim Tebow WILL be returning for his senior season. As he puts it, he plays not for a chance at millions of dollars in the pros. The only payment he requests is the smiles of children across Florida.

Tim Tebow once spent an entire year in silence on a mountaintop to better appreciate the beauty of a whisper. He spent two years in Bangladesh administering antibiotics to orphans. He cultivates prize winning orchids. He has mastered the art of haiku---in Japanese--and can cook a perfect cheese souffle.

It is my understanding that he faithfully defends the virginity of University of Florida coeds. Whenever frat boys slip pills in their drinks or whip up extra powerful jungle juice, Tim Tebow appears at the party, parting the crowd of revelers. He gently takes the distressed damsel in his arms and bears her back to her dorm room. She awakens in the morning to find on her nightstand a red rose resting on top of a handwritten passage from the New Testament, carefully selected so as to make her feel both chastened and uplifted. He is a perfect, chaste, and courtly knight.

[DragonBand06]

I really don't appreciate everyone making fun of a guy like Tebow using his position to spread the message of God. If you don't agree with Christianity that's fine and I respect that, but Tebow does a hell of a lot more good than most football players do and I don't think it's appropriate to make fun of him like this. I think if you got to meet him he would tell you that he's just a normal guy who was blessed with athletic talent and is using God's gift to spread His love.

[WestPlano006]

I really don't appreciate everyone making fun of a guy like Tebow using his position to spread the message of God. If you don't agree with Christianity that's fine and I respect that, but Tebow does a hell of a lot more good than most football players do and I don't think it's appropriate to make fun of him like this. I think if you got to meet him he would tell you that he's just a normal guy who was blessed with athletic talent and is using God's gift to spread His love.

I have nothing wrong with what Tebow does.. the problem comes into play when the media hypes it up so much so that instead of calling a game, we are telling Tebow's life story and hyping up how he is the most perfect kid ever. I know it's not his fault the media has a lovefest for him, but damn, the media really kills it.

[Firebird]

I really don't appreciate everyone making fun of a guy like Tebow using his position to spread the message of God. If you don't agree with Christianity that's fine and I respect that, but Tebow does a hell of a lot more good than most football players do and I don't think it's appropriate to make fun of him like this. I think if you got to meet him he would tell you that he's just a normal guy who was blessed with athletic talent and is using God's gift to spread His love.

Dude, no one is making fun of Tebow. They are making fun of the way the sports media talks about Tebow. If you watched the national championship game, you heard no less than four times that just by spending five minutes with Tebow, you will become a better person. Sorry, but that kind of stuff is ridiculous and deserves to be mocked.

Just like Colt/Shipley. It's awesome those guys are good friends and hang out, but we don't need to have the sportscasters turn it into a bromance.

[4th and 1]

I really don't appreciate everyone making fun of a guy like Tebow using his position to spread the message of God. If you don't agree with Christianity that's fine and I respect that, but Tebow does a hell of a lot more good than most football players do and I don't think it's appropriate to make fun of him like this. I think if you got to meet him he would tell you that he's just a normal guy who was blessed with athletic talent and is using God's gift to spread His love.

Good post.......I agree.....;)

[DragonBand06]

Dude, no one is making fun of Tebow. They are making fun of the way the sports media talks about Tebow. If you watched the national championship game, you heard no less than four times that just by spending five minutes with Tebow, you will become a better person. Sorry, but that kind of stuff is ridiculous and deserves to be mocked.There's your problem right there. Football game + TiVo = No commentary :D
We always set the game up to record, then start watching like an hour into it so we can skip all the commentary between plays and all the commercials and halftime. It's quite nice - you get to see the whole game, just without all the talking and stuff. It's especially great when people like Buck/Aikman or Bryant Gumbel are calling it. ;)

[BDB]

Dude, no one is making fun of Tebow. They are making fun of the way the sports media talks about Tebow. If you watched the national championship game, you heard no less than four times that just by spending five minutes with Tebow, you will become a better person. Sorry, but that kind of stuff is ridiculous and deserves to be mocked.

Just like Colt/Shipley. It's awesome those guys are good friends and hang out, but we don't need to have the sportscasters turn it into a bromance.

this. i swear if paul macguire doesn't quit talking about colt and shipleys fathers at ACU, then their fathers saying "but i think they're better athletes then us HEH HEH HEH!" i'm gonna skin a wildcat and ship it abc.

[drgnbkr]

I think his open display of Christianity is awesome...no problem whatsoever with that...the media's man-love for him is disgusting. But I did hear that when Tebow goes to the zoo, the Rhinos lay on their backs and spread-em....

[BDB]

I think his open display of Christianity is awesome...no problem whatsoever with that...the media's man-love for him is disgusting. But I did hear that when Tebow goes to the zoo, the Rhinos lay on their backs and spread-em....

also, when tebow was on a safari in africa, ever species of animal on the continent lined up 2 by 2 and fallowed him onto his cruise ship.

the other passengers were not amused.

[GameTyme]

I really don't appreciate everyone making fun of a guy like Tebow using his position to spread the message of God. If you don't agree with Christianity that's fine and I respect that, but Tebow does a hell of a lot more good than most football players do and I don't think it's appropriate to make fun of him like this. I think if you got to meet him he would tell you that he's just a normal guy who was blessed with athletic talent and is using God's gift to spread His love.


Could not agree more. Just because this kid is using his celebrity to glorify God doesnt give you the right to hate on him but mostly that is what a bunch of losers on here do is hate on other teams and people because either they hate something they got or something they did because their team didnt do it and they couldnt do it. I know the media has a love fest with him, but in all honestly if either of my 3 sons grew up to be Tebow like off the field I would be thrilled. Keep it up Tebow now I hate the Gators but as long as he continues to spread the word of God and witness about Jesus Christ threw all the attention the media gives well more power to him.

I understand some of you on here may not believe in God but that is your problem Ill try and send you some Ice when your butt is burning in hell.;)

[slorch]

I really don't appreciate everyone making fun of a guy like Tebow using his position to spread the message of God. If you don't agree with Christianity that's fine and I respect that, but Tebow does a hell of a lot more good than most football players do and I don't think it's appropriate to make fun of him like this. I think if you got to meet him he would tell you that he's just a normal guy who was blessed with athletic talent and is using God's gift to spread His love.

I hear where you're coming from and I agree. In a sportsworld with guys from John Rocker to Adam Jones, I find it extremely ironic and dissappointing that folks struggle to recognize a "good guy" when they see it. I'm not the biggest Tebow fan in the world, but I do respect him as a stand up guy that has delivered on what he has spoken about publicly.

That being said, the media overkill, whether it is about Stoplight's daddy and Jordan Shipley's daddy being best friends and all of that crap or stories about how "unique" Mike Leach is; whether it is true or not, it gets mighty old after having it repeated time after time after time.

[4rings]

I think his open display of Christianity is awesome...no problem whatsoever with that...the media's man-love for him is disgusting. But I did hear that when Tebow goes to the zoo, the Rhinos lay on their backs and spread-em....

that's pretty wierd man, you better get some counseling....

[pied]

I hear where you're coming from and I agree. In a sportsworld with guys from John Rocker to Adam Jones, I find it extremely ironic and dissappointing that folks struggle to recognize a "good guy" when they see it. I'm not the biggest Tebow fan in the world, but I do respect him as a stand up guy that has delivered on what he has spoken about publicly.

That being said, the media overkill, whether it is about Stoplight's daddy and Jordan Shipley's daddy being best friends and all of that crap or stories about how "unique" Mike Leach is; whether it is true or not, it gets mighty old after having it repeated time after time after time.


Stoplight? haven't heard and do not understand that one.

[slorch]

Stoplight? haven't heard and do not understand that one.

Brent always seems to find it relevant to talk about Tuscola having one stop light, so I ran with it.:D

Being raised in a town of 425, I figured I could make fun of it a little.

[JMSFan]

Could not agree more. Just because this kid is using his celebrity to glorify God doesnt give you the right to hate on him but mostly that is what a bunch of losers on here do is hate on other teams and people because either they hate something they got or something they did because their team didnt do it and they couldnt do it. I know the media has a love fest with him, but in all honestly if either of my 3 sons grew up to be Tebow like off the field I would be thrilled. Keep it up Tebow now I hate the Gators but as long as he continues to spread the word of God and witness about Jesus Christ threw all the attention the media gives well more power to him.

I understand some of you on here may not believe in God but that is your problem Ill try and send you some Ice when your butt is burning in hell.;)

I dont hate on him for anything that he does off the field. I think hes a stand up guy, and a very mature young man who has, and will make a huge difference in others lives.
I just dont like him as a player, hes not the greatest thing to ever step on a football field. I think as a QB of NFL caliber, hes way overrated. Thats why I continue to call him Eric Crouch from time to time. If he doesnt improve his blocking skills, he wont be a very good TE in the NFL either.

[GameTyme]

I dont hate on him for anything that he does off the field. I think hes a stand up guy, and a very mature young man who has, and will make a huge difference in others lives.
I just dont like him as a player, hes not the greatest thing to ever step on a football field. I think as a QB of NFL caliber, hes way overrated. Thats why I continue to call him Eric Crouch from time to time. If he doesnt improve his blocking skills, he wont be a very good TE in the NFL either.


I agree with you but with the new wildcat formation going around I think he will have a nice future in the NFL. Tebow cant be any worse the Taveras Jackson right :D. The man only threw 2 pics all season playing in the SEC. Yeah he does lack ideal arm strength and I think Nic Harris showed that when he picked him off early in the game.

Also agree he is no where near the best College football player ever sorry, but Tebow is not even close to Vince Young IMO. Young beat two Heisman Trophy winners and a heavily favorite USC team. Vince Young was pure greatness and if he would have came back is their any doubt Texas would not have repeated.

[slorch]

I dont hate on him for anything that he does off the field. I think hes a stand up guy, and a very mature young man who has, and will make a huge difference in others lives.
I just dont like him as a player, hes not the greatest thing to ever step on a football field. I think as a QB of NFL caliber, hes way overrated. Thats why I continue to call him Eric Crouch from time to time. If he doesnt improve his blocking skills, he wont be a very good TE in the NFL either.

Tebow doesn't claim to be the best. the media makes him out to be that.

I've not heard him boasting or self-promoting in any interviews, have you?

Why would you not like him as a player? hard to argue with the results, don't you think?

[svhorns]

God is Great... so am I... does that mean I'm GOD... heck yes...

[oldmojo94]

I agree with you but with the new wildcat formation going around I think he will have a nice future in the NFL. Tebow cant be any worse the Taveras Jackson right :D. The man only threw 2 pics all season playing in the SEC. Yeah he does lack ideal arm strength and I think Nic Harris showed that when he picked him off early in the game.

Also agree he is no where near the best College football player ever sorry, but Tebow is not even close to Vince Young IMO. Young beat two Heisman Trophy winners and a heavily favorite USC team. Vince Young was pure greatness and if he would have came back is their any doubt Texas would not have repeated.
really??? has twice as many national titles, and twice as many heismans. plus he doesnt go on record as saying "cant nobody tell me nuthin" while some rap crap blares in the background:( poor vince....what a waste of human life:(

[stevefoxsc]

really??? has twice as many national titles, and twice as many heismans. plus he doesnt go on record as saying "cant nobody tell me nuthin" while some rap crap blares in the background:( poor vince....what a waste of human life:(

now i dont wana jump in and seem biased.


Look at the quality of opponents both played, the teams from 2005 seem way better than 06-07-08.

Vince had much stiffer competition, and had he returned do you honestly think anyone would have stopped Texas in 06.

Vince left when the getting was good.

[countfisto]

now i dont wana jump in and seem biased.


Look at the quality of opponents both played, the teams from 2005 seem way better than 06-07-08.

Vince had much stiffer competition, and had he returned do you honestly think anyone would have stopped Texas in 06.

Vince left when the getting was good.

If he had returned, would've probably seen Tx vs Florida that year. would've been a good one.

[BDB]

If he had returned, would've probably seen Tx vs Florida that year. would've been a good one.

ive been hoping for texas vs. florida for years now. texas needs to play an sec team now.

[farmerfan]

ive been hoping for texas vs. florida for years now. texas needs to play an sec team now.

You just better hope that SEC team is not Vandy ;)

[farmerfan]

now i dont wana jump in and seem biased.


Look at the quality of opponents both played, the teams from 2005 seem way better than 06-07-08.

Vince had much stiffer competition, and had he returned do you honestly think anyone would have stopped Texas in 06.

Vince left when the getting was good.

Only a homer could come up with that conclusion. Then again, karate chopper exactly hasn't ever been known as somebody who possesses much knowledge in regards to sports and football in general.

[SLC]

You just better hope that SEC team is not Vandy ;)


LMAO.. I should have never had told you that... Yor sick dude..very sick.:D

[farmerfan]

LMAO.. I should have never had told you that... Yor sick dude..very sick.:D

SEC fans just better hope the team representing us isn't Bama ;)

[SLC]

SEC fans just better hope the team representing us isn't Bama ;)

Or Georgia...BWAHA....:eek:...:D

[farmerfan]

Or Georgia...BWAHA....:eek:...:D

Georgia at least owns a victory against the Whineys ;)

[pied]

Only a homer could come up with that conclusion. Then again, karate chopper exactly hasn't ever been known as somebody who possesses much knowledge in regards to sports and football in general.

Who did FL play that was better than tOSU at the Shoe or USC in LA?

VY playing tOSU in Austin the next year? KState/a$m? Do you think Texas loses those games?

[farmerfan]

Who did FL play that was better than tOSU at the Shoe or USC in LA?

VY playing tOSU in Austin the next year? KState/a$m? Do you think Texas loses those games?

So Ohio St and the Big 10 are all the sudden credible again?
Funny how that seems to only be the case when UT plays them.

I think playing an undefeated Bama team in Atlanta qualifies for something as does a 10 win Georgia team on a neutral field.
Did you really just bring up K-State and A&M? HAHA. Once again two teams that are consistently mocked by the whineys for not being very good but yet somehow when used to justify their greatness, they are al lthe sudden considered good. Too funny.

[pied]

So Ohio St and the Big 10 are all the sudden credible again?
Funny how that seems to only be the case when UT plays them.

I think playing an undefeated Bama team in Atlanta qualifies for something as does a 10 win Georgia team on a neutral field.
Did you really just bring up K-State and A&M? HAHA. Once again two teams that are consistently mocked by the whineys for not being very good but yet somehow when used to justify their greatness, they are al lthe sudden considered good. Too funny.

Reading comprehension

tOSU in '05 was #4.

Texas lost to those teams in '06 w/out VY. With him do you think they lose them?

[farmerfan]

Reading comprehension

tOSU in '05 was #4.

Texas lost to those teams in '06 w/out VY. With him do you think they lose them?

I don't care what OSU was ranked in 05, they were ranked number 1 in 06 and 07 heading into the BCS championship game and we were led to believe they were overrated. Mainly by the fans of the Whineys.
As for K-State and A&M, the discussion wasn't about them and if Texas would have won had Vine been there. The comments made were that teams in 05 were better than they were in 06, 07 and 08. Funny that comment was made by a Whorn and he just happend to be talking about the year the Whorns won the MNC. So methinks my comprehension is just fine Pied.

[SLC]

Georgia at least owns a victory against the Whineys ;)

And the only win is the most recent... and UGA flat out sucks for that one too.. I wished we played more, though I'm not sure UGA wants to play us at least for a few seasons... got to get themselves a QB trained first.

[farmerfan]

And the only win is the most recent... and UGA flat out sucks for that one too.. I wished we played more, though I'm not sure UGA wants to play us at least for a few seasons... got to get themselves a QB trained first.

Doesn't matter who we get trained at QB, as long Bobo is our OC, we will underacheive at that position:Censor:

[SLC]

Doesn't matter who we get trained at QB, as long Bobo is our OC, we will underacheive at that position:Censor:

Good luck with that.

[farmerfan]

Good luck with that.

Me thinks the plan you texted me would come into effect there. You know, the one that had me worried about the Patriot Act and all ;)

[SLC]

Me thinks the plan you texted me would come into effect there. You know, the one that had me worried about the Patriot Act and all ;)

Yes... But hell, just let the engineers beat y'all one more season and someone in Athens will likely do it for ya.:D

[farmerfan]

Yes... But hell, just let the engineers beat y'all one more season and someone in Athens will likely do it for ya.:D

Neh, we'll pay one of the engineers to go on a covert mission in Athens. He'll have the best of oth worlds, taking a UGA alums money while getting to enjoy the greatness of Athens and then spending the night in the Athens-Clarke County jail. All while doing us a favor :D

[SLC]

Neh, we'll pay one of the engineers to go on a covert mission in Athens. He'll have the best of oth worlds, taking a UGA alums money while getting to enjoy the greatness of Athens and then spending the night in the Athens-Clarke County jail. All while doing us a favor :D

True.. the engineers can proly build some of the best patriot act attention getters there is.:D

[ATownTexan]

Pretty funny read on a boring and COLD Fri.

http://thesportingmuse.com/2009/01/15/more-tebowisms.aspx