JMSFan
11-13-2008, 02:53 PM
The topics have been way too serious lately. Laugh a little.
I found these jokes the other day.
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought
a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand
dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor
to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor
saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple
of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and
said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc:
'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've
got a heart murmur; be careful ..'
Couple in their nineties are both having problems
remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor
tells them that they're physically okay, but they
might want to start writing things down to help
them remember. Later that night, while watching
TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want
anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so
you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can
remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries
on top, too. Maybe you should write it down,
so's not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember
that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll
forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he
says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember
it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream -
I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the
kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns
from the kitchen and hands hi s wife a plate of bacon
and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'
I found these jokes the other day.
Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, 'Windy, isn't it?'
Second one says, 'No, it's Thursday!'
Third one says, 'So am I. Let's go get a beer.'
A man was telling his neighbor, 'I just bought
a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand
dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect.'
'Really,' answered the neighbor . 'What kind is it?'
'Twelve thirty.'
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor
to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor
saw Morris walking down the street with a
gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple
of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and
said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?'
Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc:
'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.''
The doctor said, 'I didn't say that. I said, 'You've
got a heart murmur; be careful ..'
Couple in their nineties are both having problems
remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor
tells them that they're physically okay, but they
might want to start writing things down to help
them remember. Later that night, while watching
TV, the old man gets up from his chair. 'Want
anything while I'm in the kitchen?' he asks.
'Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?' 'Sure.'
'Don't you think you should write it down so
you can remember it?' she asks. 'No, I can
remember it.' 'Well, I'd like some strawberries
on top, too. Maybe you should write it down,
so's not to forget it?' He says, 'I can remember
that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries.'
'I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll
forget that, write it down?' she asks. Irritated, he
says, 'I don't need to write it down, I can remember
it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream -
I got it, for goodness sake!' Then he toddles into the
kitchen. After about 20 minutes, The old man returns
from the kitchen and hands hi s wife a plate of bacon
and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
'Where's my toast ?'