LUFPAN
08-07-2007, 12:47 PM
Wife: "What are you doing?"
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
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Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes and no."
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Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there
be greater than this one?"
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Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
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Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give
up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
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A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my
father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd
have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
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Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the warning."
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A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or
my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your
sense of humor."
Husband : Nothing.
Wife : "Nothing...? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour."
Husband : "I was looking for the expiration date."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Wife : "Do you want dinner?"
Husband : "Sure! What are my choices?"
Wife : "Yes and no."
------------------------------------- -------------------------------
Hubby: "When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your
picture and the problem disappears."
Wife: "You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?"
Hubby: "Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there
be greater than this one?"
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Stress Reliever Girl: "When we get married, I want to share all your worries,
troubles and lighten your burden."
Boy: "It's very kind of you, darling, but I don't have any worries or troubles."
Girl: "Well that's because we aren't married yet."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Son: "Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give
up my seat to a lady."
Mom: "Well, you have done the right thing."
Son: "But mom, I was sitting on daddy's lap."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my
father hadn't left me a fortune?" "Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd
have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!"
------------------------------------------------------------------
Father to son after exam: "Let me see your report card."
Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
---------------------------- ----------------------------------------
Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
The guy replies: "Thanks for the warning."
--------------------------------------------------------------------
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or
my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your
sense of humor."