Important question for everyone. I need your help!

[jp744]

This is for my class and I need some help from all of you on how to handle this particular situation.
Here is the question.

You are the coach of a high school football team. One of the players comes to you and complains that members of the team have been harassing him because they suspect that he is a homosexual. How would you handle this situation?

o What questions do you have for those individuals involved in the scenario?


o What relevant information is available in the scenario? Is it reliable?


o Develop reasoned conclusions based upon the relevant information you gather.

o Provide and consider alternative solutions to handling the scenario.

Please offer a good educated answer. NO hijacking please this is serious.

[svhorns]

Make the team run until they throw up... I think as a coach all your players should be taught and treated like they are your own kids... since im not a parent yet and dont plan to be for a good 5-10 years... what would you do if you found out your own kid(s) were harassing a kid who was a suspected homosexual...?

[FeeltheHaka]

This is for my class and I need some help from all of you on how to handle this particular situation.
Here is the question.

You are the coach of a high school football team. One of the players comes to you and complains that members of the team have been harassing him because they suspect that he is a homosexual. How would you handle this situation?

o What questions do you have for those individuals involved in the scenario?


o What relevant information is available in the scenario? Is it reliable?


o Develop reasoned conclusions based upon the relevant information you gather.

o Provide and consider alternative solutions to handling the scenario.

Please offer a good educated answer. NO hijacking please this is serious.

First I would find out if the complaint is true, and not just the kid trying to get out of something. Another consideration is the kid himself. Can this kid take care of himself? Or, Is he the small loner of the team. What kind of record does he have? You have to approach each person differently. Next, I might ask him why does the team suspect he is homosexual. I remember a couple of incidents in Jr. High and High school where a guy, would get an erection in the shower, and we would rib them about it for a while. I am not making this up, but at my sons Jr. high, my son was ribbed for a while in by some of his friends, because he took a shower in the nude! My son is about to go into the 9th grade, and to this day, his team mates either don't shower at all, or take a shower in their underwear or with shorts! I don't know about the rest of everyone's schools, but at both the high schools I went we would take a shower in the nude, after practice every. Man, is it weird to post something like this, but I feel it is relevant. I demanded to my son that he needs to take a shower after practice at first, but after finding out the facts that it is true that most of the kids don't shower now-a-days, I just kind of let it go. I know this sounds dumb, but I feel a coach needs to talk about locker room etiquette to a team. I remember people getting hurt in my day popping towels, and other stupid stuff. We were never taught this stuff, and apparently it is not taught today.
If it turns out that he is homosexual, then again it depends on the individual kid. I might request that he keeps it to himself. I would explain that in a contact sport such as football, this could be a dangerous situation. I would tell him that I am not discouraging him from enjoying football if that is what he likes, but just how important is it to him to play football. I would tell him that I would do what I can as a coach, to physically protect him, and remind him that people have strong feeling against homosexuality, and I can't control the way someone feels. I just can't educate the whole team on accepting homosexuality. It is not a coaches place, but a parent's place. This could lead to all kinds of problems. I would recommend that he talks this over with his parents. I might even send him to the school counselor. I am willing to bet that each school district has a protocol in dealing with a student who is homosexual. Of course, I would follow that protocol to a reasonable extent with respect to a football program. If the kid wants to stay on the team in light of him being homosexual, then I would have to stay on the kids that are harrassing him. If I thought the kid was just being over sensitive, then I would council him not to be so sensitive, that you might encounter worse in life. I would talk to him about being a leader and getting a thicker skin. And, that if you ignore the teasing, it will eventually fade away. I would let the kid know that I am there for him if he needs someone to talk to. Of course, I might tell a different kid something different. Like I said before, it depends on the individual.
If it sounded like the kid was really getting hassled, then to verify; I might spy on the situation, and observe what is going on. If what I observe is true harrassing, then I would ask in a calm even tone, the harrassers to come into my office. In my office they would get a long lecture on leadership, and being part of team. Then I would threaten them with, punishment such as sitting out off the team for while, or even getting kicked off the team. Again, this situation depends on the individual kids who are the harrassers. If they were team leaders, then I might even be more firm with them, and impress upon them how important their role is as a team leader, and an example. On certain kids, I might even explain what happened at Columbine, as to the consequences of what harrassing can lead to. I might even explain that you can go to jail for this. If the harrassers are kids who are discipline problems in the first place, then I would threaten to kick them off the team next time I suspect they are doing anything like this again. In all of the situation, I would explain that you should be building up your team mate, and knocking them down.
While talking to the kids, I would use a firm, even tone; make contact with a serious posture, and demand the harrassers do not take their eye off of me.
In my opinion, you need to nip this stuff in the bud; before something bad happens, or it just tears down your team.
Another big consideration on both sides of this, are the kids parents and home situation. Are the kids from broken homes? Is there a father in the home? What kind of Parents are they? I believe a good coach/educator should do their best to find these things out.
There are so many angles to this. I remember these 2 brothers on the team who were decent athletes, but didn't want to play football. Their father required them to, which led to problems. Could it be possible that the kid in this scenario is possible gay, and that his father is making him play? Or, is he not gay, and just claiming he is so he has an excuse to not play? This is a hard question to answer without knowing all the extenuating circumstances.
Also, I might refer the situation to another coach who might better handle the situation than myself. Coaches are a team as well, and you want the best player for the position.

[bigdaddydog]

This is for my class and I need some help from all of you on how to handle this particular situation.
Here is the question.

You are the coach of a high school football team. One of the players comes to you and complains that members of the team have been harassing him because they suspect that he is a homosexual. How would you handle this situation?

o What questions do you have for those individuals involved in the scenario?


o What relevant information is available in the scenario? Is it reliable?


o Develop reasoned conclusions based upon the relevant information you gather.

o Provide and consider alternative solutions to handling the scenario.

Please offer a good educated answer. NO hijacking please this is serious.

Thank the young man for coming to you. Remind him that he, like all the members of the team deserve respect. Find out what the circumstances of the harrasement were. This is primarily to understand if it needs to be escalated beyond the coaches control and brought to the administration to deal with. It is not in the coaches realm of authority or responsibility to ask or find out what this young man's sexual orientation is. It also has to be made clear that if a child under the responsibility of the coach is in danger of hurting themselves or of being hurt, that the administration/parents must be informed.

Assuming that it is not serious enough to go to the administration and can be handled within the confines of the coaches and team, Tell the young man that you do not care why they are harrassing him, that type of behaviour is NOT ok.

I would want the young man to tell me who the others are, not so that I could confront them directly, but so that I could be more observant of how these kids are behaving in all circumstances.

I would have a team meeting or discuss the subject at a team meeting if one had already been scheduled.

The jist of the talk I would give them is below:

"Gentlemen it has come to my attention that there is some harrasement going on within the team and I am telling you right now that it had better stop! I don't care what it's about it either stops or heads will roll. If anyone has a problem with that you need to come and talk to me about it.

You are each others brothers and I look at you boys like my sons. We are a family and in our family we don't treat each other with disrespect.

We win as a team and we lose as a team. When you don't act like a team, like a family, then I gaurantee you we are going to lose."

I would make it a special point to watch out for this kid.

So much depends on the variables of the situation and the tone that is set within the team by the head coach and the assistant coaches.

Coach Dodge and his team would be vastly different than the Miami Northwest coaches and their team that we saw in the documentary video. If the coaches teach proper discipline and respect from the beginning it makes a BIG difference!

Hope this helps. I am sure you will get much more quality detailed answers.

Cheers


~

[CoveMom]

First I would find out if the complaint is true, and not just the kid trying to get out of something. Another consideration is the kid himself. Can this kid take care of himself? Or, Is he the small loner of the team. What kind of record does he have? You have to approach each person differently. Next, I might ask him why does the team suspect he is homosexual. I remember a couple of incidents in Jr. High and High school where a guy, would get an erection in the shower, and we would rib them about it for a while. I am not making this up, but at my sons Jr. high, my son was ribbed for a while in by some of his friends, because he took a shower in the nude! My son is about to go into the 9th grade, and to this day, his team mates either don't shower at all, or take a shower in their underwear or with shorts! I don't know about the rest of everyone's schools, but at both the high schools I went we would take a shower in the nude, after practice every. Man, is it weird to post something like this, but I feel it is relevant. I demanded to my son that he needs to take a shower after practice at first, but after finding out the facts that it is true that most of the kids don't shower now-a-days, I just kind of let it go. I know this sounds dumb, but I feel a coach needs to talk about locker room etiquette to a team. I remember people getting hurt in my day popping towels, and other stupid stuff. We were never taught this stuff, and apparently it is not taught today.
If it turns out that he is homosexual, then again it depends on the individual kid. I might request that he keeps it to himself. I would explain that in a contact sport such as football, this could be a dangerous situation. I would tell him that I am not discouraging him from enjoying football if that is what he likes, but just how important is it to him to play football. I would tell him that I would do what I can as a coach, to physically protect him, and remind him that people have strong feeling against homosexuality, and I can't control the way someone feels. I just can't educate the whole team on accepting homosexuality. It is not a coaches place, but a parent's place. This could lead to all kinds of problems. I would recommend that he talks this over with his parents. I might even send him to the school counselor. I am willing to bet that each school district has a protocol in dealing with a student who is homosexual. Of course, I would follow that protocol to a reasonable extent with respect to a football program. If the kid wants to stay on the team in light of him being homosexual, then I would have to stay on the kids that are harrassing him. If I thought the kid was just being over sensitive, then I would council him not to be so sensitive, that you might encounter worse in life. I would talk to him about being a leader and getting a thicker skin. And, that if you ignore the teasing, it will eventually fade away. I would let the kid know that I am there for him if he needs someone to talk to. Of course, I might tell a different kid something different. Like I said before, it depends on the individual.
If it sounded like the kid was really getting hassled, then to verify; I might spy on the situation, and observe what is going on. If what I observe is true harrassing, then I would ask in a calm even tone, the harrassers to come into my office. In my office they would get a long lecture on leadership, and being part of team. Then I would threaten them with, punishment such as sitting out off the team for while, or even getting kicked off the team. Again, this situation depends on the individual kids who are the harrassers. If they were team leaders, then I might even be more firm with them, and impress upon them how important their role is as a team leader, and an example. On certain kids, I might even explain what happened at Columbine, as to the consequences of what harrassing can lead to. I might even explain that you can go to jail for this. If the harrassers are kids who are discipline problems in the first place, then I would threaten to kick them off the team next time I suspect they are doing anything like this again. In all of the situation, I would explain that you should be building up your team mate, and knocking them down.
While talking to the kids, I would use a firm, even tone; make contact with a serious posture, and demand the harrassers do not take their eye off of me.
In my opinion, you need to nip this stuff in the bud; before something bad happens, or it just tears down your team.
Another big consideration on both sides of this, are the kids parents and home situation. Are the kids from broken homes? Is there a father in the home? What kind of Parents are they? I believe a good coach/educator should do their best to find these things out.
There are so many angles to this. I remember these 2 brothers on the team who were decent athletes, but didn't want to play football. Their father required them to, which led to problems. Could it be possible that the kid in this scenario is possible gay, and that his father is making him play? Or, is he not gay, and just claiming he is so he has an excuse to not play? This is a hard question to answer without knowing all the extenuating circumstances.
Also, I might refer the situation to another coach who might better handle the situation than myself. Coaches are a team as well, and you want the best player for the position.


TMI and too many questions. Try to reasurre the kid being harrassed that it will stop. If he is willing to tell you names, get them. Keep an eye on them. If the kid's parents are already involved, reassure them and ask for a chance to put an end to the harrassment. THEN,

First try a team meeting with ALL members (including the target of the harrassment) in the room. Lay down the law. No harrassment, no matter what kind. Do your best not to make eye contact with the boy who complained and the boys who are accused.

A few days later, find a way to let the boys who were accused know that you know and see if they have a different side to the story. That way, the situation has been, hopefully, calmed down, before you get the "I didn't do it because I ....." excuses. Let them know this time they get a pass. Not next time.

That's my solution. Works in Boys Scouts.

[FeeltheHaka]

TMI and too many questions. Try to reasurre the kid being harrassed that it will stop. If he is willing to tell you names, get them. Keep an eye on them. If the kid's parents are already involved, reassure them and ask for a chance to put an end to the harrassment. THEN,

First try a team meeting with ALL members (including the target of the harrassment) in the room. Lay down the law. No harrassment, no matter what kind. Do your best not to make eye contact with the boy who complained and the boys who are accused.

A few days later, find a way to let the boys who were accused know that you know and see if they have a different side to the story. That way, the situation has been, hopefully, calmed down, before you get the "I didn't do it because I ....." excuses. Let them know this time they get a pass. Not next time.

That's my solution. Works in Boys Scouts.

You kind of have to get as much info. as possible. Kids are master manipulators and very good at bending the truth. You can't take too much team time every time someone gets teased.

[CoveMom]

You kind of have to get as much info. as possible. Kids are master manipulators and very good at bending the truth. You can't take too much team time every time someone gets teased.

My problem with your approach was that it seemed to be pre-occupied with whether or not the child allegedly being harrassed was in fact a homosexual. My take is that IT DOES NOT MATTER ONE WHIT if the child is or is not gay. The bullying/harrassment issue is the problem here. Not whether a boy is gay, has blue hair, or, well, you get my point. My son was the target of just such harrassment and guess what? Its called verbal assault in Virginia. Oh, and sexual harrassment whether or not the child is gay. Imagine sitting at the breakfast table listening to a story on the news about a gay college student being murdered and left on a highway in freezing cold weather (it was out west) and having your son begin to look scared followed by these words out of his mouth..."That's what they say I am, Mother. Gay." It is not the words boys and girls use it is the intent behind them. Intimidation. Kids tease each other. At our house we have learned the painful way that there is a difference between teasing and harrassment. I have been guilty on occasion of telling my son to "get over it." He is learning, but because he was the target of the bullies for so long, sometimes it is hard for him to tell the difference. Coaches know these boys and we are assuming with this postulation that the allegation is true, are we not? Bullying is not tolerated on football teams in my perfect world, regardless of the words used. That's my take on it. I see what you were trying to say and do with your answer, I just disagree. I do think that there are times the Coach would have to decide if the boy is being over-sensitive, but when it comes to manhood, well, at that age, it is the most important thing to a boy. Gay or straight. I will even concede that the regular meeting of the team would be a more appropriate place to bring up the subject, not a special one, but bring it up they must. I was trying to give the "offenders" a second chance since I am not a believer in "zero-tolerance." They are teenage boys. The two are like oil and water. On that I think we can agree.....:)

[t-long20]

if your coach just give the whole team a big speech about it and if you keep hearing complaints make the run till they throw up

[Fleeman93]

Very slippery slope in today's politically correct society. The coach and administration could get sued by either side depending on how it is handled, so to me there is no "right" answer.

[jp744]

Very slippery slope in today's politically correct society. The coach and administration could get sued by either side depending on how it is handled, so to me there is no "right" answer.

Tell me in what ways could you get into a suit. Really I am not saying that you are not right. I want to know what suits either side could get into. There has to be a right answer. I am pretty sure this has happened before.

[CoveMom]

Tell me in what ways could you get into a suit. Really I am not saying that you are not right. I want to know what suits either side could get into. There has to be a right answer. I am pretty sure this has happened before.

Here's a couple for starters. Ya'll chime in. If the coach does nothing and the boy is physically abused as a progression of the bullying, lawsuit.

If the Coach get too deep into the "Are you gay?" suggestions by way of trying to explain away the teasing, lawsuit.

If the Coach does nothing and the bullying/teasing continues, lawsuit.

If the Coach does nothing and the school is notified by the parents, a whole lot of folks lose their reputations/jobs, and then, just for kicks, parents file a...lawsuit.

If the alleged victim made it all up, but the Coach has already taken action against the alleged perps (like losing starting positions or kicked off team), lawsuit.

Sexual harrassment, assault, verbal assault. None are tolerated by school rules and in some cases, law. So, if you are not careful and make a misstep, then you get...lawsuits. Really.

[slorch]

Make the team run until they throw up... I think as a coach all your players should be taught and treated like they are your own kids... since im not a parent yet and dont plan to be for a good 5-10 years... what would you do if you found out your own kid(s) were harassing a kid who was a suspected homosexual...?

tell 'em to make sure they don't bleed on ya...:rolleyes:

this is crazy. if they're gay and can't help, then live with it like you're not some kind of freak. If people don't respect you for who you are, then why do you want to associate with them? we tease each other because of freckles, big heads, funky hair- I don't hear that making the news... If being gay is just another physical attribute, then live with it, don't back down, and be proud of who you are.

If it is a choice, then stand by your decision.

Either way, quit whining to me because I don't care enough about your situation/ affliction.

Disclaimor-Not directed at the poster, but the situation

[Firebird]

tell 'em to make sure they don't bleed on ya...:rolleyes:

this is crazy. if they're gay and can't help, then live with it like you're not some kind of freak. If people don't respect you for who you are, then why do you want to associate with them? we tease each other because of freckles, big heads, funky hair- I don't hear that making the news... If being gay is just another physical attribute, then live with it, don't back down, and be proud of who you are.

If it is a choice, then stand by your decision.

Either way, quit whining to me because I don't care enough about your situation/ affliction.

Disclaimor-Not directed at the poster, but the situation

This depends. Your "nut up and take it" attitude has led to a lot of problems in the past. There is a fine line between ribbing and abuse. I'm not saying that we toss a kid of the footall team for calling a glasses-wearing player a "nerd", but if several players say "We're gonna kick your a*** if you don't quit, you (insert slur of choice here)", then the solution is not to tell the threatned student to nut up and take it.

Teasing a kid for being gay is especially sensitive, because while not many people have been assaulted or beaten to death for their hair or clothes, plenty have for being gay. It's similar to racial teasing-- the propensity and history of violence is so strong that you have to stop when it happens.

No child-- scratch that, no person-- should have to resign themselves to threats or physical assault or verbal abuse ever. And lots of gay students have dealt with just that. Not just namecalling, but actual assaults, batteries and threats. And school adminstrators, teachers, and coaches have a duty to make sure their students feel safe at school and are not subjected to a torrent of insults. No learning takes place when you are in fear of your physical safety. No learinng takes place when your peers are constantly insulting you. And yes, gay students have a right to play sports, even if the other athletes don't want them around.

I don't care if you are being threatend because of your hair, your skin, your teeth, or whatever, it is the job of the adults at a school's job to put a stop to it.

[slorch]

This depends. Your "nut up and take it" attitude has led to a lot of problems in the past. There is a fine line between ribbing and abuse. I'm not saying that we toss a kid of the footall team for calling a glasses-wearing player a "nerd", but if several players say "We're gonna kick your a*** if you don't quit, you (insert slur of choice here)", then the solution is not to tell the threatned student to nut up and take it.

Teasing a kid for being gay is especially sensitive, because while not many people have been assaulted or beaten to death for their hair or clothes, plenty have for being gay. It's similar to racial teasing-- the propensity and history of violence is so strong that you have to stop when it happens.

No child-- scratch that, no person-- should have to resign themselves to threats or physical assault or verbal abuse ever. And lots of gay students have dealt with just that. Not just namecalling, but actual assaults, batteries and threats. And school adminstrators, teachers, and coaches have a duty to make sure their students feel safe at school and are not subjected to a torrent of insults. No learning takes place when you are in fear of your physical safety. No learinng takes place when your peers are constantly insulting you. And yes, gay students have a right to play sports, even if the other athletes don't want them around.

I don't care if you are being threatend because of your hair, your skin, your teeth, or whatever, it is the job of the adults at a school's job to put a stop to it.

I will tell you besides the "normal" schoolyard 3 or four hits and your out" type of fights in childhood, I have never physically attacked anyone, nor do I condone an atmosphere of intimidation or disrespect. I agree it is the school's obligation to make the best attempt at providing a positive environment for learning and school activities.

My tough talk is substantiated by this: I can't stand insecurity. I also can't stand whining. I don't believe anyone deserves extra protection, just equal protection under the law. We as Americans are bombarded with the guilt trip that we should feel sorry for everyone else. I don't buy it. I could go on for paragraphs and pages and chapters about what I've been through in my life, but I don't(and won't) use it as a crutch. i will share in PMs( and I have with a few in here) as well as posting about my work, family, ect on here several times, probably to a fault. while some deal with rhetoric and theory, I look at issues as they have been in my own life many times, in reality. have i ever been a gay football player in a straight lockerrrom, no. But I also don't have to jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge to know it hurts like hell when you land.

I live the way I am suggesting. I am often accused of only having one feeling, as in, using the word "feelings" is just too much when talking about Slorch. I tire quickly of the cries for help when people refuse to stand up for themselves. It would be much more admirable if they just lived their lives and moved on without having to make a statement out of every thing. Am i supposed to believe there's never been a gay football player before?
Then you imply that my "nut up" attitude is unrealistic. It is not unrealistic, I live it.

I know it sounds accusatory towards the gay football player, but I am tired of being told to change my outlook so some little freak can have his day in the sun.

Try going out and earning some respect by being be the person you are, not asking for favors. Emotional charity is just as degrading as prejudice, sometimes it just takes longer to recognize that it happened to you.

[Firebird]

I will tell you besides the "normal" schoolyard 3 or four hits and your out" type of fights in childhood, I have never physically attacked anyone, nor do I condone an atmosphere of intimidation or disrespect. I agree it is the school's obligation to make the best attempt at providing a positive environment for learning and school activities.

My tough talk is substantiated by this: I can't stand insecurity. I also can't stand whining. I don't believe anyone deserves extra protection, just equal protection under the law. We as Americans are bombarded with the guilt trip that we should feel sorry for everyone else. I don't buy it. I could go on for paragraphs and pages and chapters about what I've been through in my life, but I don't(and won't) use it as a crutch. i will share in PMs( and I have with a few in here) as well as posting about my work, family, ect on here several times, probably to a fault. while some deal with rhetoric and theory, I look at issues as they have been in my own life many times, in reality. have i ever been a gay football player in a straight lockerrrom, no. But I also don't have to jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge to know it hurts like hell when you land.

I live the way I am suggesting. I am often accused of only having one feeling, as in, using the word "feelings" is just too much when talking about Slorch. I tire quickly of the cries for help when people refuse to stand up for themselves. It would be much more admirable if they just lived their lives and moved on without having to make a statement out of every thing. Am i supposed to believe there's never been a gay football player before?
Then you imply that my "nut up" attitude is unrealistic. It is not unrealistic, I live it.

I know it sounds accusatory towards the gay football player, but I am tired of being told to change my outlook so some little freak can have his day in the sun.

Try going out and earning some respect by being be the person you are, not asking for favors. Emotional charity is just as degrading as prejudice, sometimes it just takes longer to recognize that it happened to you.

For someone who quite often makes a lot of noise about traditional values and Christianity, I encourage you to read some of the writings on St. Paul and the church fathers on the virtue of Christian charity, not emotional charity.

[slorch]

Christian charity should never be confused with sympathy. Jesus time and time again passed up "helping" those that were unwilling to help themselves.

I don't make noise about those things mentioned above, i simply try to illustrate their relevance in my life.

Don't sit there and question my understanding of my own beliefs and values, when I have shown that they are alive and well in my own life.

i am not perfect. I know. I got over it a long, long time ago. Others need to do the same.

[Firebird]

Christian charity should never be confused with sympathy. Jesus time and time again passed up "helping" those that were unwilling to help themselves.

I don't make noise about those things mentioned above, i simply try to illustrate their relevance in my life.

Don't sit there and question my understanding of my own beliefs and values, when I have shown that they are alive and well in my own life.

i am not perfect. I know. I got over it a long, long time ago. Others need to do the same.


This is perhaps the most perverted version of Christian teaching I have ever see.

I really don't understand why you take it so personally when people ask to be treated with common human decency.

How do you suggest a young person "stand up" for themselves in the face of abuse and threats?

[mojotrain]

Very slippery slope in today's politically correct society. The coach and administration could get sued by either side depending on how it is handled, so to me there is no "right" answer.

Any answer given could be the wrong answer, depending on the outcome. If you get involved other that passing the problem over to someone deemed qualified. In fact the only suggestion I would offer would be get someone else with proper skills involved. Your not sure or you wouldn't have ask. I'm not sure about any response you recieve at this location could keep someone from getting hurt via physical or a lawsuit.

The kid really put a load on you.

[mojotrain]

I will tell you besides the "normal" schoolyard 3 or four hits and your out" type of fights in childhood, I have never physically attacked anyone, nor do I condone an atmosphere of intimidation or disrespect. I agree it is the school's obligation to make the best attempt at providing a positive environment for learning and school activities.

My tough talk is substantiated by this: I can't stand insecurity. I also can't stand whining. I don't believe anyone deserves extra protection, just equal protection under the law. We as Americans are bombarded with the guilt trip that we should feel sorry for everyone else. I don't buy it. I could go on for paragraphs and pages and chapters about what I've been through in my life, but I don't(and won't) use it as a crutch. i will share in PMs( and I have with a few in here) as well as posting about my work, family, ect on here several times, probably to a fault. while some deal with rhetoric and theory, I look at issues as they have been in my own life many times, in reality. have i ever been a gay football player in a straight lockerrrom, no. But I also don't have to jump off of the Golden Gate Bridge to know it hurts like hell when you land.

I live the way I am suggesting. I am often accused of only having one feeling, as in, using the word "feelings" is just too much when talking about Slorch. I tire quickly of the cries for help when people refuse to stand up for themselves. It would be much more admirable if they just lived their lives and moved on without having to make a statement out of every thing. Am i supposed to believe there's never been a gay football player before?
Then you imply that my "nut up" attitude is unrealistic. It is not unrealistic, I live it.

I know it sounds accusatory towards the gay football player, but I am tired of being told to change my outlook so some little freak can have his day in the sun.

Try going out and earning some respect by being be the person you are, not asking for favors. Emotional charity is just as degrading as prejudice, sometimes it just takes longer to recognize that it happened to you.

Look out slorch, the kid religion sheriff from brasil will be sending you a private message containing helpful hints on improving your ideas and religious life.

[slorch]

This is perhaps the most perverted version of Christian teaching I have ever see.

Show me where Jesus taught people that it is OK to keep on sinning, purposefully. Jesus would tell the kid that homosexuality is an abomination unto his Father, but through HIm, there is forgiveness and grace, but that the kid must repent of his sins. Did I not state in my initial reply to you that I don't condone an environment of intimidation or disrespect? people think being a Christian means being a pansy. Meek, yes, spineless, no. Meek means " not inclined to anger or resentment. i never said I disliked the kid. I do hate his actions. there is nothing inconsistent with the Bible in saying that I disagree with homosexual acts.

I really don't understand why you take it so personally when people ask to be treated with common human decency. Start being decent, then expect to be treated decently. As i stated, I personally don't feel the need to berate, belittle, or other wise mess with these folks. i just dispute the cries for being treated fairly, when much of their own community is plagued by freakish actions and ideas- and I'm not talking about the bedroom.

How do you suggest a young person "stand up" for themselves in the face of abuse and threats? why do you have to make a stand? Just be yourself. I know I , personally, can at least respect a person for just being genuine and sincere. This whole argument implies that somehow the harrassment for being gay is somehow different or more painful than "normal" harrassment. how conceited and shortsighted is that? It is simply because of the political and social connotations associated with homosexuality and the extra/ equal rights they seek. If they just focused on making a life for themselves instead of trying to make everyone deem their lifestyle "acceptable," their search for "equality" would more likely come to fruition. i say any harrassment is unacceptable at school. gay, straight, or otherwise. i just disagree with much of the politics of this topic.

[jp744]

Thank you everyone. I can compile my own opinion on this situation by reading all of yours. I think you brought up some great points and some people brought up some really dumb ones. Thank you for your help! I appreciate it.

[LPMOM]

wow, didn't think my first post in a long time would be about something this imporant. after months without a computer i bought one with my income tax.
feel the haka, i think u had a really good reply. i feel it is important to know if the player is gay or not because it makes a difference in how to handle things. this is a serious matter and every student has a right to earn the privilage to play sports.

[GoOwls]

This is for my class and I need some help from all of you on how to handle this particular situation.
Here is the question.

You are the coach of a high school football team. One of the players comes to you and complains that members of the team have been harassing him because they suspect that he is a homosexual. How would you handle this situation?

o What questions do you have for those individuals involved in the scenario?


o What relevant information is available in the scenario? Is it reliable?


o Develop reasoned conclusions based upon the relevant information you gather.

o Provide and consider alternative solutions to handling the scenario.

Please offer a good educated answer. NO hijacking please this is serious.

Homosexual harrassment is a fact of life and if you are one, you had better get used to it because from what I've seen, it won't get any better in adulthood. Suck it up, be a man, deal with it. Be better than the people who oppress you.