Did I ever tell y'all about the time I almost died?

[BeauxGeezy]

Yep...sure did.
It happened yesterday:D I was driving down the road headed to downtown Waco. I had my window cracked because the outside temp. was perfect and I wanted to pretend that I have hair that could possibly blow in the wind...if it were there that is.
Anyway...
I've got my Ray Charles greatest hits blasting out of my minivan:D when all of a sudden a big *** bright red wasp zips through the window and lands on my neck. Y'all I am comfortable enough with my manhood to say this...I screamed like a little girl. Not a tough "aaaarrrgghh"...no,no,no,no,...I busted out with one of those pre-teen somebody was hiding behind the bushes and jump out and scared my *** screams.
I acted on pure adrenaline and reflexes. I swatted at that big ol' sum***** and he nailed me. Right on my neck...OH LORD!! Felt like a red-hot nail was being shoved into my skin.
I swerve....hit the curb...still flapping and screaming!! He fell down the back of my shirt and is now on my lower back!!
I'm comin' out of this damn shirt y'all. My mama always told me if you get into an ant bed...take off your shoes and clothes QUICK!! (remind to tell you about the day in kindergarten when I stepped in the ant bed)
So I'm doint the Macarena and Ray's still singin' boy " SHE GIVE ME MONEY...WHEN I'M IN NEEEEEED!!!"
The car behind me is honking...
Hey screw you buddy I'm about to die up here.
I finally pull into a neighborhood and catch my breath. I can't find the wasp so I am convinced he is still on me somewhere.
So what do I do?
Call Mama....
Not my real Mama...but my wife. "Baby (out of breath) there was this wasp...(still gasping) and he stung me...(I am allergic to any kind of sting by the way...my face will swell up like Rosie O'Donnell) ...and I need some Benydryl quick...(panting) get it out for me I'm comin' home!!!
My wife's response.........
"huh?"
I ALMOST DIED WOMAN!! GET ME SOME MEDICINE!!

So I'm okay today. And I'm sure it will be the source of a lot of laughs once my wife starts telling the story to my family.

this ever happened to any of you guys?

[J-Rock Mom]

I'm sorry to hear that, but you know the people driving around you thought this poor man forgot his medication this morning. And tried to get away from you fast. Thank goodness a cop did see you or you may be in jail today. They would have thought you were on so type of drug.:p

[Miss Kitty]

Oh man, so glad you are okay. I would have probably driven off the road or something like hit someone else. Flying bugs suck! But I just have this image of you in my mind flailing about screaming like a little girl. So, did you every find the wasp?

[farmerfan]

Yep...sure did.
It happened yesterday:D I was driving down the road headed to downtown Waco. I had my window cracked because the outside temp. was perfect and I wanted to pretend that I have hair that could possibly blow in the wind...if it were there that is.
Anyway...
I've got my Ray Charles greatest hits blasting out of my minivan:D when all of a sudden a big *** bright red wasp zips through the window and lands on my neck. Y'all I am comfortable enough with my manhood to say this...I screamed like a little girl. Not a tough "aaaarrrgghh"...no,no,no,no,...I busted out with one of those pre-teen somebody was hiding behind the bushes and jump out and scared my *** screams.
I acted on pure adrenaline and reflexes. I swatted at that big ol' sum***** and he nailed me. Right on my neck...OH LORD!! Felt like a red-hot nail was being shoved into my skin.
I swerve....hit the curb...still flapping and screaming!! He fell down the back of my shirt and is now on my lower back!!
I'm comin' out of this damn shirt y'all. My mama always told me if you get into an ant bed...take off your shoes and clothes QUICK!! (remind to tell you about the day in kindergarten when I stepped in the ant bed)
So I'm doint the Macarena and Ray's still singin' boy " SHE GIVE ME MONEY...WHEN I'M IN NEEEEEED!!!"
The car behind me is honking...
Hey screw you buddy I'm about to die up here.
I finally pull into a neighborhood and catch my breath. I can't find the wasp so I am convinced he is still on me somewhere.
So what do I do?
Call Mama....
Not my real Mama...but my wife. "Baby (out of breath) there was this wasp...(still gasping) and he stung me...(I am allergic to any kind of sting by the way...my face will swell up like Rosie O'Donnell) ...and I need some Benydryl quick...(panting) get it out for me I'm comin' home!!!
My wife's response.........
"huh?"
I ALMOST DIED WOMAN!! GET ME SOME MEDICINE!!

So I'm okay today. And I'm sure it will be the source of a lot of laughs once my wife starts telling the story to my family.

this ever happened to any of you guys?


damn wide, thats pretty intense. cant say it has ever happend to me, closest I ever came was on graduation night in HS, came up to a dead end in the road and never stopped, ran through a fence, hit a calf, messed up my truck, turned around and left the scene. I wont let you know why. Not my proudest moment but the closest I have ever come to anything possibly tramatci, thank God it was a barbed wire fence and not a cement or brick wall.
glad your ok though bro.

[BeauxGeezy]

You know you're from Texas when your graduation night story involves hitting a calf with your truck.

[farmerfan]

You know you're from Texas when your graduation night story involves hitting a calf with your truck.


damn straight. none of my buddies believe me, the next morning we drove by the scene and the poor rancher was out there fixing his fence and did not look too happy. I dont know why they didnt believe me I mean my truck was f***ed up. Thank God it wasnt new. Mom didnt believe in getting gifts for graduation, she thought it was your own gift to yourself to better yourself in life. Had it been a new truck I would have felt guilty as hell.
However I think the wasp thing would be more scary for me, thats just crazy man. Those things scare the crap out of me and Im sure I would pass out or have a heart attack ifthat happen to me. Your a lot tougher than I am, thats for sure.

[dada]

Something similar happend to me a couple of weeks ago and that's why I ended up going to the Sealy-Columbus football game. We were leaving LaGrange...crossing the Colorado river for the 2nd or 3rd time(how many time do you actuall cross that river on I-10 going to 71?) so we are doing about 90 on 71 as it curves around to I-10.....cross the river and BLAM....My son said it was an Eagle but I thought it was a hawk or something....but it flew right infront of the truck(GMC Envoy)...I look in my rear view and all I see are feathers....so my son says "what the heck?" I say I hope it's not stuck on the grill(we're still doing like 80)....so we both lean forward in our seats to look over the hood and soon as we look down BLAM!! It comes off the grill and into the windshield......we both uhhhhh *cough* screamed a little bit and swerved. Had Blood and guts all over the windshield so we had to pull over.......saw some lights.....ended up at a football game....it was destiny.:D

[Miss Kitty]

Something similar happend to me a couple of weeks ago and that's why I ended up going to the Sealy-Columbus football game. We were leaving LaGrange...crossing the Colorado river for the 2nd or 3rd time(how many time do you actuall cross that river on I-10 going to 71?) so we are doing about 90 on 71 as it curves around to I-10.....cross the river and BLAM....My son said it was an Eagle but I thought it was a hawk or something....but it flew right infront of the truck(GMC Envoy)...I look in my rear view and all I see are feathers....so my son says "what the heck?" I say I hope it's not stuck on the grill(we're still doing like 80)....so we both lean forward in our seats to look over the hood and soon as we look down BLAM!! It comes off the grill and into the windshield......we both uhhhhh *cough* screamed a little bit and swerved. Had Blood and guts all over the windshield so we had to pull over.......saw some lights.....ended up at a football game....it was destiny.:D


Now YOU, I have not problem imagining screaming like a little girl. LOL ;) Glad you kept your cool and did not wreck. Now stop hitting those poor birds. LOL

[BeauxGeezy]

......we both uhhhhh *cough* screamed a little bit

I did more than scream "a little bit"...I sounded like a pre-pubescent New Edtion singing "Is this the end?". If you had it on tape I would pay lots of money for it to make sure no one ever sees it.

[dada]

Now YOU, I have not problem imagining screaming like a little girl. LOL ;) Glad you kept your cool and did not wreck. Now stop hitting those poor birds. LOL
what are you trying to say Miss KITTY???? LOL

Yeah...luckily we were not doing the speed limit...we had actually passed everyone and it was two lanes and the right lane was empty when I swerved. We are cleaning the windsheild off at the gas station and I was cursing the bird "Dumb a@@ Bird need to watch where he's flying" while my son is drinking a Dr. Pepper eating Chicken Nuggets the I bought out of the gas station asking "do you think that bird had a family? what will the rest of the birds do?" Me, still pissed...looked at him and said "you think that damn Chicken had family while you're sitting over there eating instead of helping me do this"....he replied "I hope so...I would eat this chickens whole family up"

[dada]

I did more than scream "a little bit"...I sounded like a pre-pubescent New Edtion singing "Is this the end?". If you had it on tape I would pay lots of money for it to make sure no one ever sees it.
LMAO........Oh ****.....I can't even reply

[dada]

see wide...you made me cuss...sorry KT

[Diablos]

what are you trying to say Miss KITTY???? LOL

Yeah...luckily we were not doing the speed limit...we had actually passed everyone and it was two lanes and the right lane was empty when I swerved. We are cleaning the windsheild off at the gas station and I was cursing the bird "Dumb a@@ Bird need to watch where he's flying" while my son is drinking a Dr. Pepper eating Chicken Nuggets the I bought out of the gas station asking "do you think that bird had a family? what will the rest of the birds do?" Me, still pissed...looked at him and said "you think that damn Chicken had family while you're sitting over there eating instead of helping me do this"....he replied "I hope so...I would eat this chickens whole family up"



Crap......I just spewed coffee all over the keyboard.....I like that boy.

[Miss Kitty]

He is his daddy's son. :D

[Favpack]

damn straight. none of my buddies believe me, the next morning we drove by the scene and the poor rancher was out there fixing his fence and did not look too happy. I dont know why they didnt believe me I mean my truck was f***ed up. Thank God it wasnt new. Mom didnt believe in getting gifts for graduation, she thought it was your own gift to yourself to better yourself in life. Had it been a new truck I would have felt guilty as hell.
However I think the wasp thing would be more scary for me, thats just crazy man. Those things scare the crap out of me and Im sure I would pass out or have a heart attack ifthat happen to me. Your a lot tougher than I am, thats for sure.

So...where was the dead calf? So many possibilities - graduation, dead calf....Yep - that's what I call a Fightin' Farmer :D :eek:

[dada]

So...where was the dead calf? So many possibilities - graduation, dead calf....Yep - that's what I call a Fightin' Farmer :D :eek:
maybe they had veal later on that night.

[farmerfan]

So...where was the dead calf? So many possibilities - graduation, dead calf....Yep - that's what I call a Fightin' Farmer :D :eek:


i believed he burried it by goldsmight stadium in lewisville where he put up a scorborad for it ;)

[trbandchic]

what are you trying to say Miss KITTY???? LOL

Yeah...luckily we were not doing the speed limit...we had actually passed everyone and it was two lanes and the right lane was empty when I swerved. We are cleaning the windsheild off at the gas station and I was cursing the bird "Dumb a@@ Bird need to watch where he's flying" while my son is drinking a Dr. Pepper eating Chicken Nuggets the I bought out of the gas station asking "do you think that bird had a family? what will the rest of the birds do?" Me, still pissed...looked at him and said "you think that damn Chicken had family while you're sitting over there eating instead of helping me do this"....he replied "I hope so...I would eat this chickens whole family up"
haha sounds like the responce my brother would have given my dad.. haha! thats just great!

[Big_Maar]

Yep...sure did.
It happened yesterday:D I was driving down the road headed to downtown Waco. I had my window cracked because the outside temp. was perfect and I wanted to pretend that I have hair that could possibly blow in the wind...if it were there that is.
Anyway...
I've got my Ray Charles greatest hits blasting out of my minivan:D when all of a sudden a big *** bright red wasp zips through the window and lands on my neck. Y'all I am comfortable enough with my manhood to say this...I screamed like a little girl. Not a tough "aaaarrrgghh"...no,no,no,no,...I busted out with one of those pre-teen somebody was hiding behind the bushes and jump out and scared my *** screams.
I acted on pure adrenaline and reflexes. I swatted at that big ol' sum***** and he nailed me. Right on my neck...OH LORD!! Felt like a red-hot nail was being shoved into my skin.
I swerve....hit the curb...still flapping and screaming!! He fell down the back of my shirt and is now on my lower back!!
I'm comin' out of this damn shirt y'all. My mama always told me if you get into an ant bed...take off your shoes and clothes QUICK!! (remind to tell you about the day in kindergarten when I stepped in the ant bed)
So I'm doint the Macarena and Ray's still singin' boy " SHE GIVE ME MONEY...WHEN I'M IN NEEEEEED!!!"
The car behind me is honking...
Hey screw you buddy I'm about to die up here.
I finally pull into a neighborhood and catch my breath. I can't find the wasp so I am convinced he is still on me somewhere.
So what do I do?
Call Mama....
Not my real Mama...but my wife. "Baby (out of breath) there was this wasp...(still gasping) and he stung me...(I am allergic to any kind of sting by the way...my face will swell up like Rosie O'Donnell) ...and I need some Benydryl quick...(panting) get it out for me I'm comin' home!!!
My wife's response.........
"huh?"
I ALMOST DIED WOMAN!! GET ME SOME MEDICINE!!

So I'm okay today. And I'm sure it will be the source of a lot of laughs once my wife starts telling the story to my family.

this ever happened to any of you guys?



Wide, I was driving beside you and caught it on tape. :eek:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1281669955

[svhorns]

Wide, I was driving beside you and caught it on tape. :eek:

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&videoid=1281669955
actually that was one of the KT's after they lost to SLC notice the red truck and red shirt...

[pack0808]

Hey Michael J umm I mean wide!, do you remember way back in the 80's when my parents drilled a huge cow with my dad's pimped out pink cad? The cops told them if his car would not have been 100 ft long they would have died. It would have taken the cow 50 rolls to make it to that windshield.

[farmerfan]

Hey Michael J umm I mean wide!, do you remember way back in the 80's when my parents drilled a huge cow with my dad's pimped out pink cad? The cops told them if his car would not have been 100 ft long they would have died. It would have taken the cow 50 rolls to make it to that windshield.

hahaha
glad im not the only one who has hit a cow. ;)

[Red Raiders]

I've been stung by a wasp right above my eye and now imagine if that thing was alittle cm below, I don't know what would happen, couldn't see for a week? I've been stung by wasp 5 times in 5 different times. They're freaking annoying and I've always got many of them in summer out in my yard.

If that red wasp get in my car and on my neck then I wouldn't have screamed but I would been like "dang it, you stupid wasp, what the heck on you on me for" but if gets in my shirt then I would have yelled. It happen to me similar but not in the car where I was in the shower and left my towel on the floor (2nd shower of the day) and I put it on and the wasp was in front of my balls but somehow it went down to my legs and then when I went downstairs and it stung me and it felt itching. Then, it got worsen and saw the wasp and threw the towel down on the floor and I was naked (luckily my family was not there) and threw the towel in the dryer room and thought I killed the wasp but didn't so my mom killed it later when she got home. Thats how annoying wasp are, they'll sting anytime if they wanted too. I FREAKING HATE WASP!

Anyways, your story was very intense and sure alot worse than mine because you were in the car (I don't know how fast you were going but sounded like 40-50 mpg) but still would have killed you.

[yankee]

i need to tell you wide...i have never laughed so hard on this board...other kids in my comp sci class were laughing along with me...wow, funny stuff. i would pay to see that...

[RedRage00]

I don't mean to laugh cause that would scare the crap outta me too.....but the part where you said you screamed like a little girl had me laughing my @$$ off here at work. People were wondering what the hell I was laughing about LOL

RR

[svhorns]

Hey Michael J umm I mean wide!, do you remember way back in the 80's when my parents drilled a huge cow with my dad's pimped out pink cad? The cops told them if his car would not have been 100 ft long they would have died. It would have taken the cow 50 rolls to make it to that windshield.
dang.... must have been a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig body caddy....

[BeauxGeezy]

dang.... must have been a biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiig body caddy....


It was....we used to call it "the beast".
Not as big as my Granny's LTD though. She took out a telephone pole once with that boat. And she had it in reverse when she did it:eek:

[AZTiger]

:)

sorry, while reading that all i could think of was this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VzPO82BZv8

[svhorns]

:)

sorry, while reading that all i could think of was this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VzPO82BZv8
if only it were that easy... hell it probably is just havent tried it yet...

[AZTiger]

if only it were that easy... hell it probably is just havent tried it yet...

i sure as hell wouldn't risk it

[svhorns]

i sure as hell wouldn't risk it
me either... but I think I can get an inebriated buddy to do an experiment...:D

[mad_fan]

Yep...sure did.
It happened yesterday:D I was driving down the road headed to downtown Waco. I had my window cracked because the outside temp. was perfect and I wanted to pretend that I have hair that could possibly blow in the wind...if it were there that is.
Anyway...
I've got my Ray Charles greatest hits blasting out of my minivan:D when all of a sudden a big *** bright red wasp zips through the window and lands on my neck. Y'all I am comfortable enough with my manhood to say this...I screamed like a little girl. Not a tough "aaaarrrgghh"...no,no,no,no,...I busted out with one of those pre-teen somebody was hiding behind the bushes and jump out and scared my *** screams.
I acted on pure adrenaline and reflexes. I swatted at that big ol' sum***** and he nailed me. Right on my neck...OH LORD!! Felt like a red-hot nail was being shoved into my skin.
I swerve....hit the curb...still flapping and screaming!! He fell down the back of my shirt and is now on my lower back!!
I'm comin' out of this damn shirt y'all. My mama always told me if you get into an ant bed...take off your shoes and clothes QUICK!! (remind to tell you about the day in kindergarten when I stepped in the ant bed)
So I'm doint the Macarena and Ray's still singin' boy " SHE GIVE ME MONEY...WHEN I'M IN NEEEEEED!!!"
The car behind me is honking...
Hey screw you buddy I'm about to die up here.
I finally pull into a neighborhood and catch my breath. I can't find the wasp so I am convinced he is still on me somewhere.
So what do I do?
Call Mama....
Not my real Mama...but my wife. "Baby (out of breath) there was this wasp...(still gasping) and he stung me...(I am allergic to any kind of sting by the way...my face will swell up like Rosie O'Donnell) ...and I need some Benydryl quick...(panting) get it out for me I'm comin' home!!!
My wife's response.........
"huh?"
I ALMOST DIED WOMAN!! GET ME SOME MEDICINE!!

So I'm okay today. And I'm sure it will be the source of a lot of laughs once my wife starts telling the story to my family.

this ever happened to any of you guys?


Damn man...I love Ray Charles...